Stand in the Rain
by MkGrays
Summary: A future Edward? A future Bella? 75 years later, new gadgets, new style. After Edward left, Bella was changed without him, or any of the Cullen’s knowing. What happens when they meet back up? All Vampires
1. Technical

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**I got a Beta reader for this story! Her pen name is sylamesio123, very good writer! :)**

**Summary  
A future Edward? A future Bella? 75 years later, new gadgets, new style. After Edward left, Bella was changed without him, or any of the Cullen's knowing. What happens when they meet back up?**

**Because this is 75 years into the future, there will be some different types of gadgets and things going on… :)**

**Enjoy! **

No one likes the thought of death; but living forever? How could someone journey through the long years of life, watching all the poverty pass by; all the evil and cruelty that humans provide…unless, unless they had someone to journey it with. There was one point in my life when the thought of living forever didn't sound so bad. That is, only because of a certain someone who would accompany me through the long years earth provided.

**(BPOV)**

"Frevel!" I cried, "Come back!" my arms slashed the air as I chased the big black fur ball who, at that moment, was attempting to escape the 'prison' it considered my apartment. My feet easily slid on the old wood floor, sliding me to the front of Frevel's escaping body, but unfortunately I slid too much and ended up crashing into the hallway wall, causing a loud crash. My body flinched as I prayed that I had not woken up any of the neighbors in the building. The dog barked with joy at my gracelessness thinking I was trying to entertain him. I rolled my eyes feebly then hurried to grab his collar before he could run off again. Gently, I guided him back into the confines of my poorly established room. The dog had so much energy; despite the fact he would be turning fourteen in a mere matter of weeks.

Once in, I let go of Frevel's collar and slipped the door shut behind me with a gentle push, causing the hinges to creak with much protest. It was annoying really. How long had it been since I actually had to use a door knob to open a door? Where were the fancy buttons? Bright lights? The building was ancient. The room was no beauty either; with its one bathroom, chipping pale blue painted walls and old scratched up dark wood furniture; but it wasn't completely hopeless. Some could've argued it gave more of an eerie feeling than anything—my dog Frevel most likely would have been one of them. And although it didn't exactly shout out home sweet home, it was the closest I could get in the small, depressant town of Forks.

I could've tried opening the blinds to allow the smiling sun access and let it illuminate everything in its path; unfortunately, it was night and even if it were day, there would be no sun, due to the heavy cloud coverage that seemed to loom constantly over the small town of Forks.

The weather in Forks just reminded me of him, so I tried not to think about it often. I really had no idea to why I'd gone back to the small ever raining town; except for that it seemed like a good place, at the time, to hide myself from the sun, depressingly enough. Of course I knew the town held many memories, some happy, some not so happy, and some I didn't even remember due to the fact that they were human, therefore very frail.

Frevel barked loudly demanding my attention; I was still at the door standing while staring dumbly at the floor. My feet shuffled across the uneven ground, kicking at the dust that had lain peacefully before my rude trample. With a dive sort of fall, I landed on an old moth eaten mattress, which very well could have been 50 years old. The people who owned the building were nice enough to provide me with it when I first moved in, which had been two days prior.

But it had taken 75 years for me to finally muster up the courage and move back to Forks. 75 years it had taken me to gather up the nerve to go back to high school; before that, life had been dedicated to travel. The first few years of being 'undead' were spent hiding away from civilization; resisting the temptation that human blood offered. I was shocked, scared, and unstable. I wanted to be with the Cullen's—if they still went by that name. I knew they could help me, despite the fact that I was not liked by a certain son of theirs. But I had no luck; they had disappeared completely.

I was damned to struggle my first few years of being a vampire alone. Mercifully, the pull towards human blood became easier and I was once again able to merge myself with people and their everyday activities, though I refrained from going back to high school again. It was strange, watching the times change and the technology become even more advanced.

But it was there, on the ancient moth eaten couch that I laid on, reminiscing my past, waiting the last few hours before I would go back to the place I dreaded the most: Forks High School.

A cluster of students were formed at the entrance of Forks high, talking amiably amongst themselves while others were in less condensed groups, around the parking lot. All students held mini shiny hand held devices called the 'meSung' that I had yet to completely understand. From what everyone had said and all the advertisements announced that it was "the necessity to life". Holding your music, the internet, entertainment, ways to communicate, car keys, camera, first aid kit, credit card and much more, it was the way of life. Anyone who didn't have one was considered insane. I didn't bother getting one, knowing that they would think I was insane either way.

I stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot. A vague memory came to mind and I smiled slightly. I remembered my other 'first day' of Forks High; but my smile was quickly diminished as I remembered the rest of the day and the 'strange' but, beautiful group…boy…

Edward.

His name still sent a pain to my scarred chest and yet at the same time admiration. But there would be no strange beautiful people that day.

"Hey watch it!" someone yelled as I airily walked into their car. My face bounced off metal and I dumbly stumbled back. The car swayed back and forth in mid air, another 'turn of the times' invention.

Fifty eight years ago Mr. Higgins—a billionaire—invented an alternative to fuel cars, which was carbon dioxide. I never understood how CO² could be used as fuel but he did and, in the process decided to make the cars hover, eliminating the need to pave the roads and waste money.

I mumbled a bleak apology to the person whose car I'd just run into then quickly sped away. Some people were beginning to turn away from the flow of conversation and stare. Some poked their neighbors slowly, getting whole groups to stare at the newcomer shamelessly. My eyes scurried to the scenery of the ground as I walked quickly in-between the groups and floating cars to get to the front office.

A wave of relief washed through me when I'd finally made it into the safety of the office; away from the unabashed stares. The room was exceptionally warmer to the outside temperature, which would no doubt be snowing if there was enough precipitation. Plants were scattered everywhere from the walls, aligning the desks and dangling from the ceiling; giving the place an over all affect of a miniature jungle; as if they didn't get enough plants outside. There was a large desk at the back of the room that supported three wide and tall flat screens.

I looked around expecting to see a sign of civilization, but no one was there. I gave a quiet cough, waiting a second then gave another louder cough. When no one came to my aid I gingerly took a step forward, then another, making my way to one of the blank screens. This was the front office right? When I got to the screen I looked for a way to turn it on but saw none. Slowly I put out a finger and tapped the screen, figuring it would respond to touch. Luckily it did; the screen lit up a brilliant shape of blue.

There were a number of different icons decorated around the screen with words typed below. Some had teacher's names and others had courses. I let out a loud huff of frustration. How was someone supposed to sign in and get help? Didn't anyone help the normal way anymore?

"Are you ok?" I jumped, twisting around at the unexpected voice. A small boy—probably a freshman—stood a few feet away with an amused expression on his face. But when he took a good look at me, it turned into a look of amazement as his eyes widened in shock.

"Um…yes, actually, how do I check in? See I'm new and…" I trailed off waiting for the boy to show some sign that he was listening. I was a little offended at how he was staring at me, but decided to ignore the fact.

It took a few second before he shook his head slightly and walked over to the screen I was standing at, avoiding my eyes. "U-um well, here." He began to tap at the desk making me look down in confusion. A paper thin keyboard rested beneath his fingers, which explained the desk tapping. No matter how much I tried I just couldn't keep up with technology. I sighed and turned my attention back to the boy.

"So you're your new, huh? What grade are you going into?" he asked, trying to sound casual, but it came out a little forced.

"Yeah, new," I wrinkled my nose at the word, "and I'm um…a…" It took me a minute to remember my cover, "sophomore," I then answered his other question. I was pushing my age, but as the Cullen's had taught me, the younger you went, the longer you could stay.

"Hey me too!" he said more easily, clearly excited by the fact we might have a class together. His fingers began switching from typing to tapping the screen expertly. I stood staring dumbfounded by the scene waiting for whatever he was doing to be done. "I don't know where Shebar25 went but—"

"I'm sorry?" I asked slowly, Shebar25? What kind of name was that?

"Shebar25," he looked over at me as if repeating the name would help me. When I said nothing he continued a bit frazzled, "the little robot? It's all the rage right now." That would probably explain it; I hadn't been in much civilization for the past five years. Up and off to different remote places.

"Oh." I said simply, not wanting to go deeper into the fact that I didn't know a lot of things.

The tapping stopped and the boy exclaimed excitedly, "There I'm done!"

"Thanks," but I really didn't know what I was thanking him for as I stared at the screen which now looked the same except for a black square placed in the middle of a sea of blue. The boy blushed slightly when I looked down at him in the eyes.

A friendly deep ladies voice echoed out of the screen making me jump again. "Welcome to Forks High School, year 2082, where we take education very seriously." A woman's head popped up onto the screen where the black box used to be. "Please place your 'meSung' in the slot provided at the bottom of the screen," the woman's voice was sickly sweet as if talking to a group of three year olds.

The boy stood next to me waiting for me to make my next move, which I didn't. When he noticed that I hadn't moved an inch he looked up. "You can just place it in there," he said a little slowly as he pointed into a little rectangular opening.

"I-I don't have a meSung," I said a little awkwardly while gripping the desk, willing the silence to go away.

"Um-oh… w-well, I guess you could just type in everything…" but his voice faded away and I could tell he wasn't sure of what to do at that point. Most people had 'meSung's by then—they'd been invented ten years prior—yet, once again, as the years drifted by I found it harder to stay in with the times.

"Hello? Are you still there?" the woman asked patiently.

"Um yeah," I replied uncomfortably even though she probably couldn't hear me.

The voice continued her candy sweet voice, "Have you forgotten your meSung?" The lady asked in a fake bewildered voice. The kid typed something into the keyboard that was most likely a 'yes'.

"Then will you give the following information using the keyboard provided." I heard the bell ring somewhere off in the distance as I began typing in the information the lady asked. I gave an embarrassed 'goodbye' and 'thank you' to the boy as he said is own departing words.

"Thanks again for the help…uh"

"—Brian, and it's gel" **(A/N: slang words change through the years so… eh its all I could think of, it means cool—chill)**

The mechanical lady droned, "Please type in your whole name…"

I pressed down the keys for 'Isabella Marie Mason'. I knew it was foolish of me to choose that name, as if I needed more to remind me of what could have been, but what was not because I wasn't good enough; but I couldn't help it; it made me feel like there was still hope…

When she was done with the interrogation a blue and green sheet slipped out of the base of the screen. The blue was a list of my classes while the green was a map of the campus. I gave an inaudible sigh, seeing as I'd be late to class and have to bear even more eyes when I walked into the classroom.

There was no one was outside, seeing as though the bell had ringed. I was slightly thankful for that since it meant I could easily walk around with the map plastered to my face and not look so new and foreign. I didn't need more stares from the people here. You would think they wouldn't be so obsessed with a new student. Things hadn't changed much—except for all the floating cars and stuff—since I had come to high school the last time.

I began my search for English class. I had a very vague memory of the school grounds, making me look at the map only a couple more times. In a matter of a few short minutes I'd made it to the door and was taking in deep breath of pointless air, preparing myself for entrance. I pushed the straps up of my 'classic' backpack up over my shoulder, readying my entrance.

Inside I heard a deep man's voice lecturing loudly to the class. "—I expected you to—" the voice cut off as I pressed the button and the doors slid open allowing me to enter the room. At the head of the classroom stood the teacher who had a stern look about him and was apparently not happy with the class. There was a great rustling of clothing and jackets as all heads turned to me. "Oh well hello—"

"—BELLA!!" cried a high pitched scream at the exact moment I dropped my pack off my shoulders. My head had turned toward the back of the classroom like lightening at the sound of the familiar voice. A pale girl with short cropped black hair stood up, not making much a difference with her short height.

My mouth dropped open and for a second I didn't know what to do as the girl I'd missed so much, yet had given up hope on finding, scurried out of her compartment towards me. Without further thought I stepped quickly out of the classroom and let the door close in front of me before sprinting away from the school, not caring if anyone saw me.

**(APOV)**

"New girl—did you hear about the new girl?—Yeah there's a new girl," the word was contaminated; if I had to hear one more mention of the 'new girl' I thought I might puke. It reminded me so much of Bella and her first day. I'd been thinking a lot about her lately.

My visions kept going to a blurry figure and if it weren't for the extreme paleness and the fact that the figure looked so young, I would have thought it was Bella. It was extremely frustrating not getting the details to a vision, a pointless vision really, but it still irked me.

Jasper walked next to me, hand in hand as we entered into the school premises with Rosalie and Emmett behind us.

The bell rang and the kids began to scatter, rather reluctantly, in the direction of their classrooms. Rose and Emmett waved solemnly to us as they went in the direction of their own classrooms to begin another year of high school. I gave them a cheery smile, hoping to put some life in their eyes. They'd tried very hard to get Carlisle and Esme to cave into letting them stay another year away—they'd been pushing five—from high school.

Jasper swooped down and gave me a gentle loving kiss on the cheek and then let me skip off to my first period class, English. It was difficult to walk down the hallways of Forks high school, having to remember everything, all the history we had here. I missed Bella more than anyone could comprehend—well maybe my brother could, though wherever he was, I did not know.

I walked into the classroom and looked around for a seat and finding one in the back. A month I had been the 'new girl' and now, finally someone was there to take my family and my place, for which I was perpetually grateful. I still got a few wandering eyes, but most were turned to their neighbors and whispering of the 'new girl'.

The teacher began to ask for homework as kids got out their meSung's and started sending their homework while the teacher stood at the front, with his silver handheld in his hand, checking the number of students who actually did it.

A minute went by and the teacher became red in the face, clearly disappointed with the number he'd gotten. Quickly I slipped my meSung into my pocket, not wanting it to be taken away, a measure he often resorted to.

"That's it! That's all! I expected you to—" but his voice was cut off as the door glided open. Everyone's head turned toward the incoming person and I shifted around in my compartment for a better view. "Oh well hello—"

"—BELLA!!" I cried out, not believing my eyes. It was her! It had to be her! Bella's head whipped toward mine but she did not smile, she did not run my way as I was hurrying to do for her. Instead, her hideous backpack dropped off her shoulder, seeming to fall with her jaw.

I was hurt when I looked into her now golden eyes. They were filled with pure shock and pain and…hatred? All of a sudden I felt even guiltier about what my family had done to her. She was a vampire now. We had caused even more damage than I thought we had. But could it really be her?

What was most unexpected was when she stepped out of the doorway, allowing the door to slide shut and block her from view. "BELLA!" I cried again, desperately trying to get her to answer, or for her to at least smile.

"What's going on?!" the teacher questioned rather loudly, but I ignored him and pounded on the door button for it to open. When it finally did I was only able to catch a glimpse of Bella's figure disappearing into the trees.

"Bella please wait!" I screamed and ran after her, "Its me, ALICE!" her head whipped back a second, but it quickly went back to the trees in front of her and her pace sped up. What was she doing? Did she not want to see me? And how had she been turned into a vampire? She looked exactly the same as she had when we last saw her, it couldn't have been long after. "BELLA!" I tried again, but she had already disappeared into the woods.

**Review Please! :)**


	2. Confused

**Thanks for all the Reviews they're so 'gel'! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight **

**Thanks to my awesome Beta, sylamesio234!**

**Enjoy! **

_Previous chapter: Bella sees Alice and runs…_

**(BPOV) **

The leaves ripped by me as I swung my arms wildly ripping away any branches that stood in my way of escape. Escape from what?

What was I doing, running away from Alice? I was just so confused so I followed instinct, run away. But she had been my best friend, always so nice to me. _She left you, ditched you like all the others_, a part of me sneered. The angry side of me continued to jab at my weaknesses, _she didn't want you and neither did anyone else especially not Edward_. A searing pang jolted in my chest as I struggled to maintain my footing through the wild roots of the trees. I hated Alice for leaving, and yet I couldn't; I just couldn't hate, I never could. _A lot of things change over 75 years_, the monster in me relished at the hatred which continued to rise. It was wrong; this was Alice, the little tiny ball of jovial energy. The girl who demanded to go shopping, who could always put a smile on my face, who lit up the darkest room just by sticking a toe in it; she was my best friend.

I wished I could cry; I wished that I could drain my sorrows through my tears, but I was dry, dead, and unworthy of living. A sob escaped my mouth and I stumbled; I could still hear Alice behind me calling my name desperately, "BELLA WAIT! PLEASE!" Despite everything, I stopped for a second, looking back hesitantly. What could she possibly have to say to me? What would I say to her? After 75 years, we were practically strangers; another waterless sob escaped my mouth at the thought of it. "BELLA!" she was closer and soon I could see her tiny body slowing down so that she wouldn't crash into me.

My body convulsed with the oncoming sobs. "Oh Bella I can't believe it's you!" she let out a weak sob of her own, while her petite arms grabbed gently for me, but I stepped quickly away. I didn't know what made me do it, but I did and her expression froze in place. Her eyes were filled with pain and her bottom lip started to tremble as if she was going to cry: but she could not cry. Tears couldn't escape from her topaz eyes. I immediately regretted it, but I didn't know how I could make it up to her, or if I wanted to.

"Bella," she called gently taking a small step towards me, I met hers with one step back, while crunching the dead leaves with a forceful foot. "Bella, it's me Alice," Her small body shook as her eyes raked over mine repeatedly as if afraid I might disappear. Why was she afraid I might disappear? She was the one that left me; it was her who left me alone; her family and her made _me_ go through the first years of becoming a Vampire alone. My back was completely against a tree as my chest began to heave. I was caught, trapped, captured, and yet I was still alone.

As if to add to my misery, a tiny droplet of water tapped my nose making me jolt and Alice to stumble backwards…afraid? More began to fall, beads of water seeping through the leaves and eventually my clothing. The sky darkened as the clouds thickened. I could sense my eyes begin to blacken when all remembrance of the tiny joyful innocent Alice vanished and were replaced with the Alice who abandoned, who forgot, who continued with her life with no trace of guilt. The tiny body was no longer Alice, it was Edward and a fire raged in me. How could he? How could he just leave me?!

A tiny voice squeaked, "Bella?" but her voice did not process right, somehow it came out velvety and mockingly. I clenched my jaw tight; he left me, he left me! The pain was stronger than ever, yet somehow I was able to convert it to rage. It burned my skin and I would no longer have an icy touch but a burning scorching feel.

What was wrong with me? All the memories, all the pain, and rage were just too much; I lashed out and Alice crippled to the floor with a weak cry, but I had not moved. She was crouched down low on her knees; face towards the ground and back arched. The rain came down in pellets now, obstructing my view.

My voice came out hoarse and strange, "Alice?" Her pained face looked up hopefully at me and I realized what I had done. Horror came, and hit me hard. I had just used it, on Alice, my power. I had never been as sure as right then what my power was. Only ever had I gotten so angry with someone that they had crippled over clutching their chests demanding that something had stabbed them, like Edward had me. No one deserved that kind of pain, _but remember what she had done to you?_ _She did give you that pain_, I felt nauseated at the ailing voice in my head, and the truthful words it spat.

The wind blew through the trees wiping off the leaves and carrying them through the rain so that they whipped through my flying hair like dangerous darts. I stumbled backwards around the tree, what had I done? Alice no longer clutched her chest but she looked weary and tired. How could I have been so cruel? How could I have used it on Alice? My feet began to sink into the mud as the droplets made miniature craters.

My retreating steps became faster and faster until I was back to my full speed running, racing away from all remembrance… Alice. The trees lashed by in a blend of green and brown and my legs stretched to their limit, desperate to escape. I had to get out of there; why had I ever come back in the first place? How could I have been so brainless and…vile?

The branches continued to slap at my face and I willingly let them; let there be some punishment for me. The trees began to lessen as I neared my tiny rundown apartment. My sprinting became running, my running became jogging, my jogging became stumbling, stumbling for some grasp of life. I let my sloshing feet stop at the front yards drowned grass and fall, plummeting down, gasping and curling up into a tight ball to stop the ripping in my chest. It pulled at my chest and stabbed me like a knife, sending jolts of pain all through my body.

The rain continued, harder than ever and soon I was swimming in it, the substitute for my tears. I was a pathetic lump, useless and deadly. I could wait, lay there until someone found me and demanded I got up before I 'caught a cold'. But no, I wouldn't resort to relying on anyone ever again, never had it gotten me anywhere but heartache. Slowly my knees relaxed and I was able to sit up with heavy lids, though the pain was still real.

I let my eyes wander; drift to the individual trees, each had an Edward popping out from behind them, his crooked grin, waiting for me to accept him back. A tight smile tugged at my lips, Edward, my Edward, the Edward who said he 'loved me' and cared for me.

I shook my head and the Edward changed, just like that, and he was the Edward from what I remembered the most, void of emotion, no more grin, dark eyes, "Bella, I don't want you to come with me," his voice rang out from every angle with a solemn and serious tone. I shook my head wildly and scooted back towards the apartment away from the desolate and revolting memory. "Goodbye Bella," he spoke softly; I screamed, NO! I couldn't take it. I had to get out of there.

I sprinted for building and slammed the door shut, then dashed down the musty hallway to find my room. Breaking the door knob, I didn't even bother to unlock it, and then slammed the door shut; though it swung back, with no handle to keep it shut. I cried out again out of anger, frustration, and depression. _She_ made me go through the memory all over again. After all those desperate attempts to escape it, it was back. But no, it wasn't her fault, she knew just as much as I did; how could she have ever known we'd be at the same town?

But she should have been able to see me in her visions! How could she have come back after everything that had happened here? After all the sad memories? I sank to the floor blocking the door with my back. Frevel came running up to me and began licking my face, happy that I was home. I gave him a weak pat while deciding on what to do next. If Alice was there, so was the rest of the family, which meant so was Edward. I couldn't stay, I couldn't bear to look at him, after what he'd done, besides it was not like he cared; he didn't want me.

Slowly I stood up, using the door as leverage. I would have to leave, right then, and get away from everything.

Frevel wined from the lack of enthusiasm for seeing him, but I was unable to make up for it. I felt like every ounce of whatever type of life I had was being drained away. As quickly as I possibly could at that moment, I released my back from the door and made my way to my suitcase under the wire bed that held no mattress. It wasn't like I needed one. I dragged it out then easily gathered the rest of my things since I'd never fully unpacked to begin with.

My shoulders went rigid when a hesitant knock tapped on the wall outside my easily pushed door. It was her, Alice. Why hadn't she run? Why hadn't she gone to the rest of the Cullen's; told them of my awful power and how I had used it on her? Was she here for payback?

But somehow that soft knock did not show any signs of anger or revenge. I bit my lip, maybe if I didn't say anything I wouldn't have to explain, wouldn't have to tell the truth and hear in return her truth.

I heard her small frail whimper and then a quiet, "Bella?" Her voice was so small, so genuine; I couldn't even bear to think of the Alice, who left, who forgot, yet she wasn't Alice, the energetic and cheerful pixie; she was sad, and scared. Frevel began to bark and wag his tail scratching at the door, oblivious to the tension in the air. His barks snapped me out of my trance.

I gulped down nothing, straightened my shoulders then made my way to the door, dodging a leak in the roof, and then very carefully pulled the neglected door open.

**And I know… where's EDWARD?! Haha I'm sorry, but we find out next chapter! :) **

_**(**_**Any future Gadgets you think would be cool to put into the story? I'm starting to run out of ideas… If you do please put your last name (or desired last name) so I can put you as the 'inventor'**_**)**_

**Review Please!**


	3. Too many Puddles

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Thanks for Reviewing! They really do keep me writing :)**

**(For science we were assigned animals to study, go check out the Tarsier later if you can, it's the animal I was assigned too and woh.. it gets cuter the longer you look at it though... haha) **

_Previously: Bella's running from Alice, she's confused and hides in her room where she decides to leave the little town of Forks when Alice knocks on the door…_

**(BPOV)**

The sight of Alice made my heart drop; she stood with her head bowed and a frown etched upon her skin. Her usually spiky hair no longer released itself, but was piled on her face like a mop from the rain. I tentatively reached out a hand but halfway I caught myself and balled them into tight fists to prevent the temptation. I wanted to comfort her with all of my unbeating heart, except I couldn't help to remembered that she had left me; she didn't deserve my comfort.

It hurt to see the usually happy girl, standing in front of me, wearing a frown, like a sign that there was no hope, that all was lost. I didn't want that, there had to be hope. Hope for what? Did somewhere deep down inside I really want to back with the Cullen's? I didn't answer myself, but I opened the door a little further and stepped aside, indicating her 'welcome' in.

Although it was small, I could tell that Alice looked slightly surprised and delighted. Her façade did not cheer up but her head was no longer bowed and her frown, though still there, became less prominent. She entered the dreary room, kicking up her own dust as she went. The floor was moderately damp from the many holes that lingered on the ceiling. As the lame door swung back, I found myself giving my own weak smile.

It was her, it was Alice, and she was finally there just a few steps away from me. After all those long years of looking and waiting, I'd finally found her, or she found me. We looked back at each other, topaz to topaz, and I was reminded of the 'good old days' when Alice was simply Alice, happy, cheerful, bouncy, and sympathetic. Not the monster I forced myself to see in her as; not the person who left me here to die...

Her shoulders shook slightly as her lips trembled, holding in a sob. I couldn't take it; I needed her to be happy. With a sob sort of breath I lurch the rest of the few feet standing in between us and flung my arms around her. She only staggered back a little, then was quickly throwing her own arms into the hug and let out another sob, but it was different then before, a happy cry. We stood in the embrace a while longer, laughing and weeping. We'd done it; we'd broken the small barrier that time created. I laughed, I cried; laughed because she was finally here, and cried because it had taken so long.

Alice let out between her sobbing laughter, "I can't believe it's really you!"

"Alice I can't believe you came back, after what I did…" My voice trailed off, unable to finish the horrid memory of using the power on her. Alice just shook her head on my arm while her shoulders only trembled slightly, remnants from before.

"Oh Bella, it was nothing to what we did to you," she sobbed furiously again then hugged me tighter than ever. I let her squeeze me, slowly inching to the point of snap; it felt safe, like I would never slip away again. I couldn't reply; I didn't know what to say. It had been so long, too long to verbally speak my forgiveness, so I stayed content with rocking her little body until her crying subsided. "You must understand," she sniffed and begged while looked back up at me, "I didn't want to leave, I wanted to say goodbye, but Edwar—" my shoulders stiffened and she quickly changed her words, "he said it would be best. He said that it would be a—"

"—a clean break," I finished for her in a small whisper, "yes… I remember." My eyes retreated to the floor and traveled to my worn down muddy shoes.

"Oh Bella!" Alice cried desperately hugging me tighter, willing me to forget. "I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry! I tried! I tried to see how you were doing in my visions! But you wouldn't show up! I didn't know where you were! I pretended like it was nothing, but after five years… I didn't understand!" She broke out another muffled sob, "I went back to Forks to see if you were ok. I found some people from our high school, they told me that you had left, run away, or you were, were dead and your body was never found!" her own body trembled uncontrollably as she revealed to me her past. I rubbed and patted her back for comfort, biting my lip to control my own desperate cries.

Night time was beginning to fall, making the already shadowy sky, darker. The rain continued to pound down and more leaks were revealing themselves. I began to move the shaky Alice over to the couch as she continued to cry. The wood below our feet creaked as we waddled by in an awkward hug. Without thinking I let the words slip out of my mouth, the words of comfort, "its ok," I chocked out.

Alice's shoulders stopped trembling as we fell onto the couch. Her small face looked up at me with admiration, "You were always so strong Bella, so caring. No matter what happened with you, you always thought of others," her voice broke a little on the last few words. I let out a week snorting sniff at the thought. "But you are!" Alice exclaimed with shock, "Bella after everything we did to you, you're still able to comfort me! _Me_! When all I ever did was leave!"

"No, Alice, Edward left," I struggled with his name, finally letting go of my grudge with Alice, I thought. A huge weight was lifted off me and I felt twenty times lighter. Could I really have just forgotten about 75 years of my grudge? Had it really been a grudge? Could it have just been a fake?

"Bella," she sighed again but more softly as she rested her head on my shoulder. We sat in silence for a few moments, both soaking in what just happened. A new leak penetrated through the roof and began tapping on my knee. Frevel stayed where he was sitting a little ways away on the floor, watching the exchange with amused confusion. I smiled slightly as Frevel wagged his tail then scurried over to where we sat and nudged our knees.

Alice laughed, "You got a dog?" Her voice was groggy from the earlier exchange.

"Yeah, his name is Frevel," I managed through a feeble laugh as Alice began to pet Frevel who lavished at the new attention.

"He's so cute," she said more cheerily, as her old self began to ignite. Her lips began to curl into her star smile and I could feel the room lighten.

"Thanks, don't eat him," I added as a joke, which worked.

Alice leaned back into the couch and giggled; I smiled, only then noticing how much I had missed it, the carefree laugh. "Don't worry, he smells bad," she giggled again and I found myself laughing with her, although slightly relieved all the same. She looked down again, seemingly deep in another thought. I let my eyes roam the ancient room while my hand absently petted Frevel. "Bella?" Alice asked suddenly.

I looked down at her, "hmm?" Her face was beginning to cast shadows as the room got darker.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out; she clamped it shut again. I waited for her, nodding my head, allowing her to continue. Her mouth opened once more, "H-how did you become a vampire?" She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, holding tight.

It was an invisible blow, my breath was knocked out of me and I sat completely still. I shook my head numbly; I couldn't I just couldn't explain, I wasn't ready. Although I desperately longed to tell her, to vent it out, I was afraid of what might happen once I did, how worked up I might've gotten. Alice nodded in acceptance, understanding my silence.

There was a big gust of wind outside, sending the little water pellets to shoot at the window in an uneven rhythm. Alice jumped slightly, looking at the window. Her shoulders relaxed as she turned back to me, a warm smile placed on her lips, "We should go." I frowned slightly at the thought of Alice leaving. My frown grew more prominent when I remembered the 'we'.

My eyebrows furrowed, "I-I'm sorry? We?" I asked truly confused and puzzled.

Alice looked up at me, her face back to sad confusion as she peered at me through her topaz, child-innocent eyes. "Don't you want to see your family?" a jolt ran through me when she said 'your family'. There was a deep desperate longing, a pull at my heart, edging me towards her house, the Cullen's house, where Edward lived.

Despite the pulling I shook my head dazedly, "Alice I-I can't. I'm not ready, to see everyone." I prayed that she'd understand. That she'd leave it at that. I had no idea of what I would do next. After seeing Alice again, I was afraid I'd never be able to leave. But where there was Alice, there was Edward, and there was heartbreak. I might have been able to see everyone, everyone but Edward.

She shook her head weakly, she seemed to understand. "He's not there," she said feebly.

My mouth fell open in an uncouth manner. 'He' meaning Edward? Had she really said that? Had she spoken truthfully?

"H-he's not?" I expected a wave of relief to wash over me, reassuring me that I wouldn't have to see the man who broke my heart, who tore up my soul, but I felt a sudden drop in my chest…disappointment? It surprised me, the feeling of disappointment, as much as the words spoken by Alice, 'he's not there'.

"Bella," her voice began to tremble again, "I don't know where he is," she broke down again, as if she never wanted to say the words, or reveal to anyone, to herself that Edward was truly gone.

"Oh," the word escaped my mouth in a whisper. I felt departed from my body, like I wasn't truly there. Like I'd wake up and none of this would ever have happened. Except I couldn't sleep, and it was happening. Edward…gone…why?

Alice looked back at me and for a split second; I thought she might have conquered the impossible, for a split second I thought I saw a tear running down from her eye. But it was only the leftover rain draining from her hair. "We made him promise," she spoke again so softly and vacant it was haunting. "We made him promise..." she said urgently looked back up me, as if pleading for my forgiveness. I didn't know if I wanted to hear the rest, if I wanted to find out what 'he's not there' meant. "...to not kill himself," a part of my extinct heart tore. "He agreed, reluctantly, but it's been six years, six years Bella, we don't know where he is."

"B-but, w—" I struggled to get what I felt, what I meant, out in proper words. Why would Edward leave his family? Had he turned his back on them too? Why would he want to kill himself? "W-why would he need to promise not to kill himself? Did something happen?" I felt lost and out of the 'circle' that was the Cullen's family, which I was, out.

Alice looked momentarily lost at my question. She searched my face, hoping it would reveal to her the depth in my question which was, I thought, very clear and easy. I tried again, "Alice, what would possibly make Edward want to kill himself?"

A spark exploded in Alice's eyes and she looked up at me, scolding. "Bella! Isn't it obvious? You!" she sobbed out and dug her head back into my shoulder.

I sat stunned, "Me?" My head swam in a sea of words, unable to pick up the correct ones to form a proper sentence. I was past understanding. "What? Did he finally start to feel guilty?"

Alice removed her head from my shoulder to stare at me, mouth agape and eyebrows knitted together, "Of course Bella! He intentionally hurt himself and you to keep you safe! He gave up his only love to 'protect'!" Her breath became heavy as she added a side note, "not much good that did seeing y—"

"—Edward found someone else?" my heart sank below my feet and dug desperately at the ground, running away from the pain. The rain pelted down harder than I ever thought possible and I was afraid my room might drown. Puddles were forming and merging together, the sound of the crashing rain stung in my ears and I shook my head slightly to escape, make it go away. Frevel wined and jumped onto the couch next to me, away from the swamp that was my bedroom floor.

"What? No Bella! What? He's only and will ever love YOU!"

"Don't say that," I breathed, and yet it still sounded harsh as I tried to concentrate on something else, anything else.

"What? Why Bella it's true—"

"—don't say that!" I yelled, standing up and looking down at the couch murderously…again. I seemed to be getting remarkably heated lately. "He left me! Does that sound like love to you?! He had 75 years! 75 years to come back, but he didn't, did he?"

"—but he thought you were still human—" She tried to argue, but I didn't bother listening, knowing her words were lies.

"—well he was wrong, wasn't he!"

"Bella!" Alice sobbed making my heart wrench. I was yelling at Alice again, Alice who did nothing but follow Edwards orders.

"I'm sorry," my voice was low again, my breathing heavier than normal as I made my way to sit back down next to Alice and wrap an arm around her. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to get mad at you." I let my cool skin travel to my thoughts and cool down, taking in large quantities of air.

"No you have every right. It's just," she looked back up at me, "I wish you could understand, he loved—"

"Don't… please," I whispered desperately. For a second she did nothing but watch me with her heavy eyes, then very curtly, yet softly, she nodded her head in agreement. Another long silence stretched between us.

_What should I do?_ Edward wasn't there so I wouldn't have to deal with him. I'd have to face the rest of the family sooner or later if I stayed, which wasn't looking like such a bad idea anymore. After seeing Alice again, and working everything out with her, I was afraid I'd never be able to part again. My best friend was back.

I bit my lip, contemplating everything. What if I stayed just a week? Just a week and if everything went aright I'd stay for good, if not I'd leave. I turned back to Alice, who'd been watching me very carefully, a slight smile on her ever smiling lips. "You should go," but before Alice's smile could turn into a frown I continued, "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"YAY!" Alice threw herself at me, "Oh Bella this is wonderful! I can't wait to tell everyone! They'll be so happy!" I laughed heartily at finally having the real Alice back. And she'd still be there for tomorrow…

**(EPOV)**

WELCOME TO WASHINTON STATE

There I was, my feet touching Washington soil. I was going to do it; I was finally going to say 'hello' to my family. At least for a little, let them know I was still alright—at least physically—and see if they were too. It was the least I could do after they did for me, tried to do for me… I took in deep breaths, I could do it…

The wind blew by whipping back my untamed hair as the leaves gently released themselves from their branches. A few cars flew by, not bothered at all by the strange creature on the side of the road, the monster.

Why did they have to go back to Fo— I couldn't complete the word. If I couldn't complete a word how was I going to step on the same land that Bel— used to walk on? My chest felt heavy again, I couldn't do it. My knees sank to the muddy floor, one knee resting on the rough unpaved road, while the other sank further and further into mush. I wondered where she was… Was she still alive? My shoulders slumped at the other option. Where was she then?

It had been ten day since I decided to go visit my family. But I was going at a snails pace, I couldn't get myself to do it. Some days were worse than others, but each was as painful as a thousand knives. How I longed for Bella, my Bella.

**Review Please!**


	4. One Step Closer

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight **

**I'd like to thank curlyk03 for reading over my chapter to make sure I didn't ruin it, cause that would suck. My Beta couldn't get on the computer and I needed some reassurance (because I'm paranoid I'll screw up) haha**

**Enjoy!**

**(BPOV) **

After Alice had finished begging me to come back to her house and had made a quick detour through my clothing, practically getting a heart attack—a big step for a vampire—she'd left. "Well Frevel," I sighed, turning away from the door to look at my dog who still sat on the couch away from the swampy floor. "It's just you and me," he whined not helping my mood which had suddenly plunged into a pit of ice when Alice left.

The rain had lightened up, but was still coming down in folds as the night grew darker and darker. _What to do_? I thought while lamely looking around my room for something to occupy my time until a reasonable hour came around to head off to school.

My feet splashed across the floor as I made my way to the practically floating suit case where I rummaged through my damp clothing to choose an outfit. Alice was right; my selection of clothing was a mess. It was made up of mostly faded jeans while I had one pair of Kloshe slacks—a material able to change its ability to trap heat according to the temperature. All my T-shirts were plain while I had one sweater.

Since I had mostly only traveled, what I wore was never a big issue. Most of my clothing were many years old, given that I never stayed long enough with people for them to notice my unchanging wardrobe. With a huge sigh I chose a pair of jeans then looked for a shirt, cringing at the green shirt, there was too much green in Forks anyways; my hands found a dark peach top. I brought the selection of clothing to the bathroom where I hung them on the towel rack to dry then decided to take a shower.

By the time I had taken a shower, dried myself off and my clothing, fed Frevel and mopped up some of the larger puddles, the sun was making its first appearance. I was thrilled to see that the rain had stopped, although the clouds stayed dangerously dark and close. I grabbed an umbrella just in case, and then looked for my backpack.

I looked everywhere, but there weren't many places where it could hide in the room. Where was it? My foot kicked at the couch lightly. A light bulb flickered on in my head and I remembered that I had dropped it before running away from Alice. _I hope it's not soaking wet_, I thought, wincing.

When there was nothing left to do I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and my slightly damp book, setting the towel on the couch, and then sat down to read.

**(APOV)**

"Where're you going and what's up with the two backpacks?" Rosalie asked from behind me as I grabbed the keys off the rack, rattling them in my hands with a small smile placed on my lips.

I had told everyone about the return of Bella, a few hours ago. Everyone was, of course, shocked and disbelieving. The first part of the conversation was spent convincing them and promising that I wasn't going crazy or delusional.

One by one they began to believe while shortly after I was bombarded with questions, which, most of them I couldn't answer, due to the fact that most of the time with Bella had been spent apologizing and crying. I had warned everyone to be extra cautious around her due to the fact that she was very fragile at the moment with us. (Do you think I should just start at this scene and show them all talking?)

In the middle of humming a song, I turned around to look at Rose. "I'm going to pick up Bella!" I said excitedly as everyone else glided down the stairs to where Rosalie and I stood. "And Bella needs a new backpack. I think the one she has is the same one she had the last time we saw her," I thought about her old backpack and scrunched up my nose in disgust.

Jasper walked over to me and gave me a light kiss on the cheek while Emmett asked loudly, noticing the set of keys in my hand "we taking your car today?" Everyone was beginning to form a circle, with me closest to the door.

"Nope," I chimed, "well, Bella and I are but you guys are on your own." I giggled when he looked shocked at the sound of Bella's name, forgetting that she was still alive. I kept wondering how Bella would handle everything when she saw the family again.

Emmett immediately boomed, "I want to come!" He stepped into the middle of the circle, closer to me and the keys.

"Emmett," Rosalie said fiercely while putting out a hand to stop him from getting closer, "do you not remember what Alice told us? Bella's not ready," her tone was slightly mocking. Somewhere deep inside, Rosalie knew that what happened was Edwards fault, but she covered it up by blaming Bella. Old habits are hard to change.

"But Bella would want to see me!" Emmett whined as I skipped over to him and jumped to pat the top of his head consolingly.

Esme walked into the room, "make sure to invite Bella over, let her know she's welcome anytime a-and give her my love!" Esme spoke quicker than normal, wanting to see Bella just as much, if not more than everyone else. When I had told her about Bella, she'd practically jumped up right then and there to run and find her. Losing a child wasn't easy.

"Of course! I'll make sure to give her everyone's love!" my feet were edging their way to the door; I didn't want to be late, I never actually told Bella I'd pick her up and from my vision she would be leaving fairly soon. Jasper walked me out, one hand in mine. "Isn't this great!" I sang when the door closed, "I still can't believe she's here!" I swung Jaspers arms like a child, blissfully.

He smiled while pressing the button on my car for the stairs to come down. "Yes, unbelievable. Rather ironic, Edward left so she wouldn't have to be one of us and here she is 75 year later" he said more sadly while guiding me up the steps.

I opened the yellow car door then looked back down at Jasper, with a more melancholy expression. "Just remember not to say his name around her, she's still sensitive to it," I warned while placing one foot into the car. "Remind the others for me, I'll see you soon!" I blew a big smacking kiss then shut the door while letting the stairs retreat back up.

Jasper backed away from the car as I started it up, then flew away.

**(BPOV)**

I snapped my book shut, I really needed to get a new one. At least it wasn't Wuthering Heights, which had completely fallen apart thirty or so years ago. I'd have to check out the library when I got to school.

I had about an hour or so until school started, I didn't particularly want to be early, but I couldn't stand sitting in the miserable room any longer. "Frevel! Come on boy!" I called as I stood up and made my way to the, still, broken door. His black furry body came trotting my way, excited that he too would be able to leave the borders of the room.

I wasn't surprised, when I opened the door, to see the hallway looking like a forest stream with a few leaves floating on it and mud as the new carpet.

I headed in the direction of the dog day care center, kindly provided by the apartment complex. It wasn't hard to find, once I resorted to following my nose of musty dog hair. The place was small and only a few dogs were being watched. Once again, I was asked to use my 'meSung' which I didn't have. Again, the people stood puzzled as they waited for me to take out my change. I said my last goodbye to Frevel until later that day, and then made my way back to the front of the apartment.

My feet sloshed on the lake that used to be the front yard, but stopped when I saw the glittering yellow floating car in the parking lot. It stood out to all the dull grey and silver cars that floated near it, only promoting its brilliant color. _Why would someone with a car like that be living in a place like this?_ I thought bewildered. When my praise towards the car was finished I continued down the path, nearing the woods.

"Bella!" I quickly turned around to see Alice hopping down the steps of the apartment and waving her hands frantically at me. "Bella wait!" I pursed my lips in confusion, then looked over at the floating yellow car and back to Alice.

When she got close enough I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Alice you really didn't have to," I leaned in closer as if to tell her a secret, "I don't know if you knew this but, I'm a vampire now, I can run pretty fast." I chuckled as Alice beamed. I should have known only a car like that would be owned by Alice.

"I know! But this way we can spend more time together!" My heart swelled at the thought behind the gesture and I smiled goofily, glad, once again, to have my best friend back. "Come on!" Alice giggled while linking arms with me and skipping away to the car as I dragged behind.

"Wow nice car," I said in awe, once we had entered the yellow mobile floating device. The whole interior was black leather with colorful buttons covering a good proportion.

A mechanical woman's voice began to speak once we had both shut the door, "Welcome, please put on your seat belt and—"

"Ugh," Alice groaned as she slapped an orange button in the middle of our two seats, "that voice gets so annoying!" I laughed lamely with half my mind still examining the car. I had only once been inside a hover car, and it wasn't even a car but a transit bus. "So," Alice piped as she threw the car into reverse and tore out of the parking lot, "how was the rest of your night without me?"

"Boring, cleaned the water up, read a book, the usual," I said casually, still inspecting the foreign buttons. The drive to school was nice. Alice and I talked about neither the past nor the future. We talked about random things, anything that popped into Alice's mind, which mostly included merchandise. Every second together made me feel lighter. I never knew I could be so happy to have her back, especially after 75 years of… I didn't even want to remember.

"Wow, we're early," said Alice as we turned into the practically empty paring lot. There were only a few cars, which I figured were teachers, since no student, who valued sleep, would come that early. I clutched my umbrella tightly, hoping that the clouds would not release any of their weight. "Well what do you want to do?" Alice cut the engine.

"I have to look for my backpack—"

"—Oh! That reminds me! I got you a new one!" she flung her tiny body over the seat and began rummaging in the back. "Here!" she flung me a thin deep teal sack with silver buttons (the ones that don't do anything)

"Oh," I was momentarily stunned; I'd forgotten Alice enjoyed giving other people gifts. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd gotten a gift from someone. "You shouldn't have," but my growing smile betrayed my modesty. Alice beamed back at me as I examined her pink backpack, very similar to mine.

"No problem!" she waved her hand airily, "now come on, let's get your stuff from your _old_ backpack."

I patiently waited for the stairs to descend before I opened my door to step out, backpack and umbrella in hand. The high school was like a ghost town; the only noise was trash skidding along the concrete from the lightly blowing wind. We first checked my English class to see if the teacher had taken my pack inside, but the door was locked, so we then checked the lost and found which was in the same building that I had signed in at, except down a hallway and into a different room. It was sitting on a container full of other peoples missing belongings.

After I had exchanged all my belongings from my old backpack to my new, Alice threw the old one out, much to my protest.

"Alice! I can still use that!"

"Oh please! I'll buy you another one!" she said exasperated. As we walked out of the building, cars were beginning to fill out the parking lot, as more and more kids began to clamber out to form groups. Alice and I walked on the sidelines, trying to attract as little attention as possible.

"Bella," Alice forced as she wheeled around, grabbing both of my hands and squeezing them. I looked at her a little shocked and confused at the suddenness of it. "I know you said you weren't ready to see everyone but…" My stomach seemed to be traveling farther up my body until I felt it in my throat. Why was I so scared to see them? What was the worst that could happen? Rather numbly I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, so I settled on slowly nodding my head.

Alice smiled comfortingly as she let go of one hand but kept the other and walked me farther into the parking lot. A tight feeling was forming in my throat which momentarily held my stomach.

I wasn't very aware of what I was doing, seeing all, almost, of the Cullen's again. The meeting with Alice wasn't so bad, at least once I'd finally forgiven her. Since I didn't blame any of the others anymore, it should have been somewhat easy. I felt a little unfair, letting everyone go and not Edward… But I didn't worry about that then.

A small gasp escaped my mouth when, in the distance, I saw a small group of three beautiful vampires standing next to a dark red floating convertible. One was tall and curvy with long wavy blond hair… Rosalie. One was tall and trim with short blond hair… Jasper. And the other was extremely burly and tall with brown curly hair… Emmett. They were all the same and yet they seemed so different. They hadn't changed at all.

I couldn't decipher my emotions, there were too many, but I decided to let myself form a small tight smile as we neared closer. My legs began to slow but Alice forced me forward with pushy hands. Emmett was swaying back and forth, a big goofy grin plastered to his face, looking like he was trying to contain himself.

Alice skipped beside me, keeping her forceful hands at work, completely at ease, which lessened my tension by a milometer. We were ten feet away…eight… five… "BELLA!!" Emmett exploded and jumping for me where he then swung me up into a death trap hug.

"Ah!" I cried as I was lifted into the air. The world spun in a colorful blur as my hair whipped my face. I was briefly stunned but as he swung me further up and into twirling circles I found myself letting out small laughs. "Emmett!" I wheezed, "Put me down!" I let out a tiny giggle as Alice joined the fun with her own giggles. When I was finally set down, I stumbled sideways a bit, but was able to take in Rosalie's and Jasper's looks of shock as I did. The only thing that moved on either of their bodies was their blond hair which flew up in the wind. "Hi" I said timidly, putting out a hand to give a small wave.

Jasper spoke first, "Bella… wow," he broke out into a smile and walk forward to grasp my hand and swing an arm around me. I said another small hi, keeping my eyes on the ground. It was so weird, seeing them again after so long. It almost felt like a hazy dream. The leaves rustled as the wind began to pick up. Everyone turned to Rosalie; I wasn't expecting much of a greeting.

She stood motionless, eyes larger than normal with her lips slightly parted. She blinked a couple of times then, very quietly said, "I—how? ..." My smile grew wider, relieved that she hadn't said anything rude and at least said something. Amazingly enough, her lips formed a microscopic smile before she turned away to stare at the front building, although a few times her eyes would wander back to me.

There was a slight tension in the air, no one knowing what to say.

Emmett clamored easily taking some weight off the air, "Well! This has been officially awkward!" We laughed faintly, as I looked around for something interesting.

"Isn't it great though?!" Alice finally squealed, "Bella! Our Bella's back!" Although this released all tension as everyone began to talk more amiably, asking questions and teasing each other, I couldn't help but feel a sudden drop at her words, 'Bella's back'. I couldn't help but wonder, was I?

What really described me? Over the 75 year I felt like I was becoming a different person, but seeing them all again I felt the old Bella creeping back, but how I described the old Bella, always had some sort of Edward weaved in the description.

**(EPOV)**

I had finally made it to the Olympic National Park. I was getting closer and closer. I wondered if Alice had seen me yet in a vision. Was she too distracted? I didn't know how long it would take to finally make it all the way. A week? A couple of days? Some days I would just sit in the grass, leaning against a tall tree trunk and think about her—Beautiful Bella—like right now.

The grass swayed gently as petals danced on their stems making an array of colors. Every step closer hurt more than the one before. Was it really worth it? They could go a few more years without knowing my whereabouts, right? But no, I had put it off long enough, it was time. Why should I hurt them just because I was hurting? I would be in and out, that would be all. What could possibly keep me there anyways?

**I understand everyone's cries of "Where's Edward!" (I'm starting to scream it at myself, which is utterly ridiculous seeing as though I'm in control here haha) But I couldn't just put him in here without calming Bella down with everyone else. (besides it would totally screw up my outlines) **

**Guess what? I'm going down to get my book signed by Stephenie Meyer today!! YES!**

**Review Please! :)**


	5. Bella?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight **

**Thanks sylamesio123 for awesome editing! **

**And now, the moment you've all been waiting for… **

**(BPOV) **

Four days had gone by and I found myself smiling more than I had ever done in the past 75 years since I'd been bitten. The clouds were getting darker and darker, threatening another storm and yet nothing could wipe away the constant grin that graced my lips. Seeing almost everyone again lit up a spark in me that I never knew existed. Finally, I was remotely happy again. Finally, I felt like I meant something to someone and I wasn't just some random existence that had…nobody.

Two days prior I had finally agreed to everyone coming over to my apartment to 'catch up', which included Esme and Carlisle. Esme was as sweet as ever, it was an Alice greeting all over again, minus the anger. Once we had gained our posture from the million hugs, we moved outside to less gloomy surroundings to talk more. Everyone seemed extra cautious to speak about anything from the past or of Edward; I had a feeling it was because of Alice, for which I was perpetually grateful.

Although they were cautious with those two subjects, they certainly weren't skittish about things that could occur later.

"So when are you going to come visit us?" Emmett had boomed rather loudly when we were all sitting in a circle on the grass. Rosalie had slapped him—she had been extra cautious to push my limits, _surprising_, yet welcomed.

Despite Rosalie's punishment for Emmett's suggestion, I had finally agreed, although I would not go further up than level two.

-

"Seven minutes!" the teacher yelled from the front of the class as I desperately typed on my 'exilis campester'—a flat thin slab, used to type out work and send to teachers. My feet tapped desperately on my compartment floor, earning me annoyed stares from the people next to me. Geology was _not_ my subject, not in the least. Of course my anxiety for finally going over to the Cullen's house for the first time in many years didn't help.

The room felt exceptionally stuffy with everyone's heavy breathing and tantalizing running blood. The heater was cranked up to keep the cold outside from seeping into the room. Kids were beginning to sweat, yet still they kept their jackets on as if afraid a wall might break down and a blizzard would storm in.

…Seven minutes later…

"Times up! Send them in!" There were loud scuffling noises as everyone groaned and sent there half finished essays about the cycle of Volcanoes to the teacher. The bell rang moments later and Alice skipped to my side and linked her arm into my arm.

"Ready?" she asked and I knew she meant about going to her house since it was the last period of the day. I was about to groan, but caught myself, not wanting to worry her. I smiled and nodded my head while letting her take my arms and skip me out of the classroom.

We weaved in and out of the filling hallway and towards the parking lot to meet the others.

A guy began shouting my name, "Bella! Bella hey wait up!" This time I did let out a groan as my heels dug into the concrete, waiting for Jordon to get out whatever it was he was bothering me for. Did this guy ever take a hint?

Jordon was a tall arrogant boy who was quite popular around the school, although I didn't know why. He had been showing me some extra attention lately, asking if I wanted to sit with him at lunch or just asking random things to 'talk' about but not listen.

I wheeled around, taking Alice with me in a wide circle. "Yes?" I asked trying my best to sound patient, it wasn't his fault for trying, even if I'd hoped he'd get the indication that I wasn't interested a long time ago.

Jordon stood flustered for a minute then blurted out "Would you like to go see a movie with me?!" I stepped an inch back, wiping away a few spit speckles off my face.

"Oh," I said awkwardly. I hated when he asked this, it was the same exact question _every_ time. "I'm busy." And I really was, thank God.

Jordon's forehead creased, "But I haven't even told you when." His voice reminded me of a child unsuccessfully asking is mother for ice cream before dinner. Alice snickered quietly beside me. My hands tightened on the bottom of my shirt as I futilely pulled it down.

"Right, well I'm just, really busy, right now with a lot of things and I'll be busy, for awhile…" I stumbled on my words, mentally hitting myself for my stupidity. _Just break it to him, Bella, you don't like him!_ "Jordon…" he looked at me with wide puppy dog eyes, hopefully awaiting my words. I just couldn't do it! "I—am really busy right now ok? I have to go." I turned back around, tugging on Alice's arm, speeding away through the crowd and too the safety of the car.

When we were at a safe enough distance Alice burst out in giggles, "I don't know why you don't just say no," she grabbed at my arms for support. "Here just say it with me 'no'" she teased as if I was mentally challenged.

"Alice! Stop!" I whined tugging back my arms, "And because that's mean." I retorted. She snorted while we turned a corner and their cars came into view.

I heard her sigh then mutter so low I could barely hear, "It's Mike all over again." I laughed a little too loudly at that comment. She was right. He was _exactly_ like Mike.

"Hey!" Emmett shouted when we got close enough for him to give me another bear hug, something he'd been doing a lot lately, supposedly making up for all the ones he'd missed out on. "What's new?!" Jasper gave Alice a kiss on the cheek as Rosalie gave a curt nod my way, we were working on it.

The stairs were all pulled down on the two tiny sports cars. "Well," Alice began, making her way to the sparkling yellow one, we always took. "Bella got asked out by Jordon," Long pause, "_again._"

Everyone cackled at the news that had been reported a lot lately. Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Please Bella, just let me take care of him." She swung her leg onto the stairs giving a more dramatic effect as the wind blew back her long blond hair, a picture from a magazine.

Emmett tapped her butt, "Rosalie had her fair share with that kid, almost had to go in myself, but," He tapped her once again, "Rosalie's a big girl." She rolled her eyes but smirked triumphantly, seeming lost in thought, no doubt at whatever she did to get the kid off her; I shuddered.

"And Bella's not?" Jasper asked amused. I tried to hide my choking noise.

"Well, she's too nice," Emmett quipped indifferently as he followed Rosalie up the stairs to her red convertible.

Alice ran up beside me and reached a hand over my shoulders, "Which isn't bad," she sniffed and led me to our set of stairs. Jasper got in with Emmett and Rosalie, since their back seat was at least existent.

-

"We're home!" Alice and Emmett shouted at the same time as the rest of them trudged into the large white house after them. I stayed outside on the porch, too numb to move. I was finally back, same exact house, same exact paint, same windows, and the _same_ plants. A chill ran through me as I gazed upon every detail. There was only one thing that was different.

No Edward.

My eyes wandered up the wall and lingered on the third floor, _He's not there Bella_, I tried to comfort myself, but I felt no better.

"Bella?" A soothing voice asked as Esme came out onto the porch with a sad smile. She moved gracefully towards my side, wrapping an arm around me. I leaned into her hug, placing my head on her shoulder for comfort. We stood in silence for a while longer, both looking at the house that Edward used to occupy, from the outside.

Another voiced called my name, "Bella?" Alice stuck her head from behind the door and took in the sight of Esme and me. I smiled at her. "Oh sorry, I'll be inside." And she quickly ducked back in.

A few more minutes went by before Esme spoke gently, "It was so difficult, moving in, there are so many sad memories. I don't even know why we did it, especially with no Edw—sorry" I flinched, but did well not to show it.

"It's ok," I said quickly and softly. "I really should get over that," I couldn't help but spit that last word. Our relationship was a that. "Considering how long it's been." I let out a dry laugh.

Esme seemed to hesitate for a moment then forced out, although keeping her gentle manner, "Bella, as much as I know you don't want to hear this, I guiltily admit Alice has warned me, but Edward _did_ love you,"—I almost laughed—"and as hard as it is to understand, the reason he left was because he loved you."

I was about to interrupt but Esme, sensing my hesitation, turned me around so that both of her hands were on either side of my shoulders. "He knew you wanted to be turned into one of us, but his definition of us is soulless, and monsters and he, seeing you as an Angel, didn't want to be the reason for you to turn into that. Of course we completely disagreed with him, but it was his choice and he would leave anyways, so as a family we had to make that choice and go with him."

My lips were trembling, as I fought the sob that was threatening to escape. I bowed my head towards the floor to gain my composure. My feet weren't interesting, but I pretended they were.

"Come one," Esme said again after a few seconds, "let's go back inside," she wrapped her arm around me again and led me through the door. I was relieved to walk inside and find Emmett and Jasper cussing and playing virtual boxing with each other, completely at norm and, at least pretending, to be oblivious to mine and Esme's absence. Rosalie sat on the couch watching the boys while filing her nails. She rolled her eyes towards them when we walked in and gave a weak smile, which were getting more genuine everyday.

Carlisle must have been at the hospital and as for Alice… "Bella!" she chimed from the top of the stairs, "come here! Quick!" when I didn't follow right away, she sped down, grabbed a hold on my back and pushed me all the way up and guided me to her room. So much for taking a look at the house…

Her room had only changed a little, and that was to stay with the times. It was mostly a pink battle field with a few purples and blues. She had two couched that hung from the wall, able to adjust their height and I lost count on how many fold out closets she had. I made my way for one of her mobile chairs and sat down.

"Surprise!" Alice screamed from directly above where I was sitting. My head snapped up to her brilliantly lit face, and then to the tiny silver object in her hand.

I stared quizzically, "Your 'meSung'?"

"No silly! _Your_ 'meSung!" she squealed and handed it over. My jaw dropped.

"I don't know how to use this thing!" And I really didn't want to, but I had a feel I wouldn't have a choice, not with Alice.

**(APOV)**

Bella was so cute, sitting there looking at her 'meSung' like it was something chemically harmful. Although Bella, being Bella, looked up at me and tried her best for a genuine smile. I giggled as it went lopsided, what was I to do with her?

I swiftly grabbed another chair and slid it over so that I could show Bella 'the works' of her knew gift. I was on my knees and leaning over, pressing all the different buttons as Bella sat hopelessly confused.

"Wait how did you do that?! I thought that button controlled email!" She slumped back in her chair defeated.

I pushed on her shoulder to straighten her up, "No, look, it _does_ control email but if you press this button with this button then you get your music—"

"But I don't have any—"

"—shh, you will. Now," I continued to point out different effects the 'meSung' had and desperately trying to get Bella to understand, it wasn't that hard.

My fingers stopped as the door bell rang.

He was wearing ragged worn down close, his eyes were edging further and further towards black. Hair was wind blown and a complete disaster, like he had just walked through a tornado. His eyes looked sunken and lifeless, like his arms that swung hopelessly at his side. He looked up as the door swung open.

I gasped coming out of my vision…

Edward!

"Oh my gosh!!" Esme screamed from downstairs, her voice quickly turned into a squeal. Bella popped up from her spot on the chair, looking down at me confused.

It was Edward I couldn't believe he came back! But, Bella! My eyes widened with fright, what would happen? Without much thought I jumped in front of the door to block Bella.

"What are you doing?" She laughed, thinking I was playing some sort of game, if only she knew. Her eyes narrowed playfully, ready to pounce.

"Wait no—" but she had already pushed past me and ran down the hall, thinking I would chase after her, which I did only for a different reason. As I chased after her, more squeals and yells and shouts came from downstairs by the door.

"Edward my man!" Emmett shouted, uh-oh. I turned the hall for the stairs; everyone was crowed around the door pushing their way for Edward, Bella stood at the foot of the stairs, motionlessly staring at the crowd, although I knew she was looking at Edward.

Before I could run back down the stairs and comfort her, or carry her away, do something, the group slowly parted to let him in, NO!

He looked even worse than in my vision, dead, actually dead. His pale skin looked even paler in contrast to his dark clothes which were in desperate need of a good washing. Slowly Edward stepped in; his eyes traveled up and locked on the base of the stairs. His dark sunken eyes came to life and ran wide while his jaw dropped in disbelief as he mouthed, "Bella?"

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	6. Never Ends

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight (this is so depressing)**

_**Thanks to sylamesio123's superior editing skills :)**_

**And just so you know, I worked my butt off to get this up by today :)**

**Enjoy :)**

_Previously: Edward comes back_

**(EPOV) **

I stood still, gazing at the beautiful hallucination. Had I really gone that far to start seeing things? She was so beautiful, paler than I remember, and she no longer had her chocolate brown eyes, instead they were a dark topaz; like mine, although mine might have been blacker at the moment. Her long brown hair traveled down in a beautiful wave that I longed to touch. Her full red luscious lips slightly parted as her eyes were wider than usual, a strange expression to have her wear in my delirium.

"Bella?" I mouthed slowly. Was it really her? It couldn't be. She had to be dead, or extremely old.

Was it a hallucination, where was the smell of her tantalizing blood? Could it be anything else? How I longed for it to be real. She moved slightly and without even thinking, I ran towards her as she quickly stepped off the stairs. "Bella!" Her arms swung around my neck as I picked her up from the waist and swung her around, causing her hair to fly away. A miracle that was the only explanation.

"Bella!" I don't even remember if I had shouted out loud, whispered it or it was just in my head, all I was capable of doing in that moment was holding Bella, alive. Nothing else existed, but it was not as if I was in a black hole, it was a happy seclusion, and full of Bella, who was now sobbing and laughing.

I settled her back down on her feet but never removed my hands. She looked back up at me and I couldn't resist the urge, I plunged down gently and our lips collided. I was expecting another cheerful greeting, but her lips did not move, in fact she did the complete opposite, her whole body went rigid.

I pulled away and looked back into her eyes, they were wide in shock. Had I gone too far? Wouldn't she be happy to see me again after so long? Did she see the true monster in me? Slowly her expression began to change, confusion, disbelief, horror, anger?

Her pale face was unsettling as she looked at me with her changed eyes. I gulped down quietly, just then remembering, Bella, my Bella, was a vampire? She had been changed? Through all the commotion I had forgotten my earlier inspection: pale skin, topaz eyes, no tantalizing blood; she must have been, but how?

"Bella?" I asked uncertainly waiting for her next move, why was she backing up? I kept my hold on her, despite her weak resistance, where was she going? "Bella," I tried again, more urgently. She shook her head in horror. Something was placed on my arm and began to pull; I yanked my arm away, what was going on? Did no one want me with Bella?

A tiny figure squeezed in-between me and Bella, I was about to push it away until I saw the worried face of Alice. "Edward," she spoke sternly, looking me square in the eye, it was alarming coming from her. But I wouldn't back up, I kept my eyes trained on Bella, whose expression was back to horror, why was she afraid of me? I thought desperately. Alice spoke again, though it was distant to my ears, "We _need_ to talk." I couldn't _talk_ to her right now. All I wanted was to hold Bella, talk to Bella.

She began to nudge at my chest, I did not budge. She spoke even more sternly through her teeth, "We _need_ to _talk,_" I stumbled back as three new arms grabbed at me and pulled me away.

"No," I gritted my teeth as I fought back; watching Bella's frail body quiver and her lips trembled. I had to help her! I needed to comfort her!

"Let me go!" I snarled as I fought harder, punching my arms out like a five year old child.

Although it was very small, and her lips hardly moved, she spoke so softly, "_Edward_."

"Bella!" I yelled and I saw her small body crumple to the floor in a helpless heap.

"Edward stop!" I heard Esme yell warningly, for the first time, as she knelt at the floor where Bella lay. I was pulled all the way into the kitchen, where there was no more site of Bella left; I let my whole body go numb and hopeless. Why were they pulling me away for the only thing I longed to hold?

I took a big gulp when I remembered Bella's face, did she not want me? I let them heave me up onto a stool. Alice walked around the island counter to face me, and then nodded for the others to leave, though I knew they'd be guarding the door.

I was about to make a run for it, to try my hardest to fight my way back to Bella, but Alice called urgently to me, "there's something you need to know about Bella." I finally looked up to her and her warm familiar eyes. What did she mean? Nothing could be wrong with Bella, she was perfect.

Alice grabbed for my hands then pulled them onto the cool neutral counter, "Ok Edward, Bella was turned into a vampire, we think, right after we left, we don't know why, she won't say." I backed up a little in my seat, thinking I was going to go and ask her right now, demand who it was. But Alice pulled back at my arms forcefully and hissed, "And neither will you! Don't you dare ask her Edward until she's ready!" her voice was full of warning. How much had changed?

"We've tried very hard lately to keep Bella here; she's at a very fragile stage right now. She thinks that everyone left her because they didn't _want _her," Alice looked at me full in the face, I was unable to look away, "I think you know why," her voice came out with a hint of resentment. My eyes widened as I looked back down at the white tile and tightened my jaw, fighting the horrid memory. Alice squeezed my hands, willing me to look back up into her face, her eyes were soft again

I tried to get my say, "But I didn't mea—"

"—it doesn't matter," she said quickly cutting me off, as her eyes glazed over for a few long seconds. "I'm trying to see how Bella will react but she keeps changing her mind; she's too confused with her emotions, Jaspers told me she's a mess, he can't even decipher what she's feeling sometimes. She loves you Edward, I know this, but," she paused unable to say the next part, "she feels a very strong bitterness towards you, but you weren't the only one! I had my fair share, I was luckily able to bring her back to me, but I think it's because she now puts all the blame on _you_."

Her words were drowning me, I couldn't take it, my Bella was back but she hated me? I couldn't breathe, not that I needed too. I couldn't see, though my eyes were wide open, I couldn't feel, but my heart and chest were being ripped out by invisible claws. I let go of Alice's hands not wanting to break them as I balled my hands into tight fists, resisting the urge to cry, _don't be weak, don't be weak_, I repeated to myself as my shoulders shook.

I felt two small arms wrap around me as Alice took me in. I collapsed at her touch, digging my face into her spiky hair.

"Edward," she whispered softly, calming me down, "just promise me that whatever she does, you'll be good. I know it's been a long time and I know you thought she was d-dead," she coughed out the word, "but we finally have her back, she's only been back for a few days, and this is her first coming over so… just be _good_." The word good was perplexing. _Good_? Good as in not talk to Bella? What _good_ could that do? Could I talk to Bella? Would she talk to _me_?

-

**(BPOV)**

"What are you doing?" I laughed as the little figure spread herself in front of her bedroom door. The picture was so funny I didn't even take the time to notice her wide frightened eyes. Also the curiosity to what all the commotion was downstairs had me running my foot along the fluffy carpet like a bull playfully.

"Wait no—" but I took no time to decipher her words as I rammed my way under her arms and squeezing by. I laughed and made my way to the stairs.

Emmett shouted when I was halfway down the stairs. "Edward my man!"

I practically fell the rest of the way down, stumbling until I made it to the last step where I was able to freeze myself. It was a feeling like a heart stop, even though I had no beating heart to stop. They'd been so careful not to say his name. Was it a joke?

I stared with—what I thought—was no emotion. Everyone was in front of the door greeting someone that I did not want to believe was truly there. I could tell a few of their eyes began to wander to me as they slowly parted like the red sea. I wanted to shout 'NO!' I wanted to run. I didn't want to own up to everything I'd felt in the past 75 years of this retched life. What was I doing? Thinking that far ahead? I wouldn't even talk to him, if it was him!

It couldn't be him! It couldn't! He was gone! I'd convinced myself I'd never have to go through the process of ever talking to him again! What would I do?

There he was.

A pale and deadly appearance to the back drop of the setting sun. Tattered cloths, sunken eyes, enticing lips that very slowly mouthed my name. There was a sudden fire in me, good or bad, I did not know, but it burned.

My name on his lips gave me a tiny shudder. He took one step and it was enough to allow my frozen posture to shatter. For me to meet him half way in a sprinting leap; for him to pick me up and spin me around to let my hair fly away from my face, and for me to dig my face into the curve of his neck.

"Bella!" he shouted which released a sobbing laugh from my throat. I couldn't even analyze the situation. I didn't care what I was doing; it was all instinct, pure instinct. He shouted my name again as we swung around through the air, just air, nothing else, nothing to stop my arms from releasing themselves from around his neck, Edward.

All too soon I was set back on the ground, his hands stayed on my hips. Acting again by instinct I smiled up into his eyes, his dark eyes. I frowned when they closed, but his face swept nearer. His beautifully dark features came closer and closer; it was only when he was millimeters away that I understood what he was doing. His soft lips quickly touched my own like an electric shock, but not a welcoming shock. It ran through my whole body, freezing wherever it touched.

The shock was enough to allow my brain to function properly and for me to take in the situation; I felt sick. I opened my eyes wide in shock as he slowly pulled away with an adorable confused face. _NO BELLA! It's hideous! You hate him!_ I furrowed my eyebrows at the harsh voice in my head; no, I didn't hate Edward, a small voice inside me whispered back. I looked down in disbelief, what was happening? Could there truly still be a small part in my mind that actually _liked_ Edward? I thought in horror. No, there wasn't. I hated him, I hated him! There was the anger. There was the firry rage that seeped through my veins like the three days of change.

Edward gulped as he studied my face, focusing on my pale skin, my topaz eyes. "Bella?" he asked uncertain. The rage bubbled up as I began to back away, he didn't want me. I was a vampire now, he didn't want me when I was human, he'd never want me when I was a vampire, or to him, a monster. I tried to pull away from his hold, but my efforts were weak.

My savior, Alice, squeezed her way through. I didn't even take in what Alice was saying. I shook my head and continued to back up, although my eyes couldn't tear themselves away from Edward… _Edward_ Thinking his name and actually seeing him in front of me after so long felt so implausible.

My whole body was trembling as I fought the hardest I'd ever fought just to keep myself from crying, not let him see, I was not weak. The force didn't stop at ripping my chest; it began to tear at me legs, my arms, my stomach and my head, until I was spinning uncontrollably.

I needed help, who would stop the spinning? I regretted it right after the word left my lips, "_Edward_."

Edward snarled at the others, "Let me go!" It was too much, my legs were gone and I fell with a loud thud to the floor. Someone was at my side in an instant patting my hair while yelling back at Edward. I lay on the floor, limbs lying in awkward places, too numb to cry, too numb to move, too numb to _think_.

Someone began to gently pick me up, though I did not pay much attention to whom it was and where I was going.

I didn't know how long I was absent from my surroundings, a minute, an hour, a life age? But when I finally broke free from the cocoon in the darkest, blackest part of my mind, I could see my situation. I was back on the porch, a light breeze that brought no comfort to my cold body.

Why was I so stupid? _To go to the Cullen's house_? How could I have been so thick and faithful?

I should have known my luck wasn't good, of _course_ he'd come back the day I got there. I played back my reaction, _you ran for him Bella, _you_ wanted him, _no! I hated him remember? He hurt me; he didn't want me, and now I didn't want him! _Then why did he kiss you?_ That I could not answer, I could not make up an excuse for.

I sat on the porch trembling in Esme's arm like a child who scrapped her knees, except I was not physically wounded and my hurt was _far_ worse, something internal, and yet the pain inside was so sharp, so large it felt as though my body were suffering alongside it. Esme rocked slightly back and forth in a hypnotic motion. She cooed small comforting words to me, however none of them processed.

I sat up slowly then placed my feet on the floor. Esme, noticing my movement, stopped. "Where're you going?" she asked sweetly, but under it I could sense worry.

I stood up fully and looked back down at her and gave a far away smile, "I think I'm gonna go home, check on Frevel." It was a lame excuse but I had to get out of there, knowing Edward was in the room right next to me was too tormenting and frustrating to put into words. I desperately wanted to seek him out again, let him kiss me; I stopped my hand from slapping my face, no, I couldn't. All those years I'd said I resented him; I told myself I _could_ live without him. Who was I kidding? It was only to force down the pain at least a fraction.

Yet I let my feet travel farther away from the house. Away from Edward, away from pain, would I ever escape?

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	7. Anger

**Sorry this took longer than normal, you could say I took a short break. But I'm back! :) and I'm still not owning Twilight. :(**

**Thanks to Sylamesio123 for being an awesome Beta, as ever!**

**Enjoy :)**

**(APOV)**

If I weren't trying to be strong for everyone else I might have just broke down and started crying myself. How could all of this of happened? And how could _I_ have let this happen? I couldn't help but feel pain for Edward and Bella. It was hard to think about what they might be thinking. Edward must be hurt as hell and Bella…

The day we got Bella to come back, promising her everything would be ok, Edward came back. That had to be the weirdest thing—and most horrible—thing to _ever_ happen to me, well except for leaving Bella. The pain of that cannot be explained in words.

So long I'd been hoping Edward would come back, and the day he did… it was just so messed up.

I exited the kitchen behind the sulking Edward. It was nighttime and most of the lights in the house were on like a beacon to those in space. Esme walked back in through the front door, her face downcast in worry and gloom. She was able to lift her head to me and shake it very subtly then drop as if it were a heavy boulder.

Bella had run. But to where? I checked my visions, she wouldn't show up…

Edward walked over to Esme and in a silent apology, his arms wrapped around her body. Headlights pulled up into the driveway and I knew Carlisle was home, but as selfish as it was, I didn't want to be the one to explain everything.

So I quickly and quietly pulled on Jaspers sleeve to bring him upstairs. He looked at me confused but let me tug him up to the room. When we got up I quickly shut the door and pulled him onto the bed to sit down.

"Ok here's the plan…"

**(BPOV)**

At first, my feet carried me to nothing. I just ran; ran through the forest at top speed, letting my legs take me wherever they may. I was lost, not only on land but in my mind, my emotions.

I stayed stubborn, the kiss was nothing, me running to him was nothing.

Everything was nothing!

But when _that_ didn't work I began blaming my actions on my body, like my mind couldn't control it. My body let him kiss me; my body ran to him, my body did everything!

I screamed while sinking down to my knees, which crunched the dead leaves into the rooted soil. An owl hooted his protest to my rampage as it took flight into the cold, dark night. I wished for the rain, for it to wash everything away, to let me go back to my small numb space of nothingness. Where was it when I needed it? Where was anything when I needed it?

Why was I so weak? Why couldn't I just look him in the face and laugh. 'Ha, you don't affect me. I don't care you left, I'm over it.' My shoulders shook helplessly, I wasn't making any sense. Why couldn't I? I pondered this for quite a while. Why had I been so hurt when he left? It wasn't like I wasn't expecting it. I was just a human…but I wasn't anymore…so why did it matter?

Because he _didn't love_ me!

How could he be so cruel? _Damn it Bella! Use his name!_ I screamed to myself for my never ending limitation when it came to Edward. It was his fault, all his fault! It was such a juvenile saying, but it helped, it worked.

I lifted one foot so that it was placed flat on the dirt. Why should I be so delicate towards him?

Why should I have to leave just because he was there? _He_ was the one who left. I shouldn't have to go away. Though, in my mind, I knew that I was just being obstinate. I was becoming deranged, and I knew it; I didn't care. My fingers grasped for the top of my shirt, tugging and pulling at the piece of fabric.

What was stopping me from giving him a piece of my mind? Why shouldn't he feel the pain he'd put me through? My other foot met the ground full on as I straightened up and turned in the general direction of the Cullen's house. The _Cullen's_ house, not mine, Edwards.

My mind began rambling on about everything that Edward was; dirty, cruel, rotten, evil, sick, twisted… mine… NO! I leaned back on a tree. I could do it, I could tell Edward off, I could, and I would! I took a small step towards the house. But why would I do it? Because _he screwed up your life! He messed_ everything _up!_

_Do it Bella!_ An evil smirk poisoned my lips. The wind wiped past my face as my body ran back, back to the Cullen's, back to Edward. My body felt hot like it would melt my skin and I would fall apart. His fault. His.

The house was easy to find, every light must have been turned on, like a fire that plagued the inside. I ran out into the clearing of the front yard. No one was outside but the front door was wide open.

I battle cried "EDWARD!" I did not wait long; his toned body was out of the house in less than a second with the others following behind. I quickly held up my hand to prevent him from coming any closer. He looked at my hand, thwarted. "Only Edward!" everyone stared but did not move. Carlisle was holding onto Esme who looked at me concerned, she shouldn't have been. Emmett stood out the most, eyeing the distance between us, like he'd cover it in a few strides and pick me up to bring me back in, I wouldn't allow it. Rosalie stood a few steps behind him, no emotion showing on her attractive face, I wanted her to look away. There was no Jasper or Alice…

"_Alone_," I struggled to keep my voice strong. Edward was hurtful, vindictive… It helped me to gain my control as my fingers flexed. A smirk was present on my face the whole time, and I sure was aware of it.

Edward looked back to his family and nodded a few times as if to hurry them in, but they did not hasten; they took their time, taking a few steps then looking back, a few more, then another glance.

Edward clenched his teeth making his jaw tighten, "_Go_," he hissed to them. Rosalie was the first in; followed by a comforting Carlisle with Esme, then finally a very reluctant Emmett. When they were all gone Edward turned back to me with soft eyes, "Bella I—"

"—No, Edward I have a few things to go over."

"But Bella—"

"Edward shut up!" my voice rang out with such strength, such menace it even surprised me. "I'm so sick of being the weak one! Will you just let _me_ talk for once!? Will you just be quiet for once!? You will _not_ talk your way out of this!" I spat the words at him like he was dirt, which he indeed _was_. As the fire burned, so did my thoughts making my mind drift to different topics. "Why should I have to go just because you're here?!" I hissed, "I'm sure you'll stay like nothing happened at all! Because that's all I am to you! That's all I ever was!" My stomach hurled with the anger as I spat the words out. My finger pointed like a silver dagger to pierce through his heart.

Edward didn't learn, he tried to speak again, stuttering of course, "B-but—"

"NO! A puny little human! That's what I was right?! A little flower that you could look at, make your own, and then, when you're bored blow it away!" He opened his mouth to say something, but I was quicker…and angrier, "NO! LISTEN! I'm not that anymore! I'm myself! _Myself!_ Whatever that is! But I sure am hell gonna find out! And you will NOT get in my way!" the front door held many eyes peaking out in fright, watching the scene. But I did not care anymore; nothing mattered; only the flames that demanded to be released.

I vented, freeing seventy-five years worth of pain, hate and anger, all on the gorgeous vampire boy in front of me. My arms dropped with a loud clap and I stumbled forward.

"Why?! Why Edward?! Why did you do it?! Why did you leave?!" My voice broke on the last word when I looked into his innocent yet guilty eyes. His hair was still a mess, but somehow it fitted him, his clothes were worse than mine, at least I cleaned mine. His shoulders were slumped as he looked over at me, obediently taking the whips, but my wall was breaking, my wall of ice, of fire and rage, anger and hate, strength.

"Bella I didn't m—"

"No," but it was much weaker than before. My knees gave way and found rough terrain. "It's not fair, it's not fair," I hissed in a low whisper while my arms snaked around my chest in a hug. Edward was inching his way closer, and I found I couldn't do anything. The night was still, no wind, no rain, yet so many clouds that covered the stars, silently staring at the sight of Edward and me.

Edward stood over me, his legs wobbled as he collapsed to the ground beside me and his strong arms brought me into his chest. But I didn't cry, I was dry, I didn't even sob, an attempt at crying.

Instead, Edward's shoulders shook as he let out small deep sob of his own into my hair.

"Why? Why?" I repeated numbly to my knees. Maybe I could pretend, say to myself that what everyone said about Edward leaving was true. He left _for_ me...

"Bella, I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't bear to turn you into a vampire—" I ripped myself from his chest, the anger igniting back in my eyes like a trick candle, out for a little but back at the slightest encouragement.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?! Like you didn't mean to leave?! You left _for_ me?!" I laughed dryly without humor. I was back on my feet looking at Edward's empty body as he hunched over.

He looked up at me defeated, conquered over. His sunken eyes somehow puffed, like he'd spent the night crying. His lips parted as he whispered "Because it's true."

"It doesn't make any sense! You didn't want _me_ to be a vampire?! You didn't want me to spend eternity with _you_?!" I screamed at him, the words escaping out of me, burning my throat.

"I did but—"

"STOP!" I shouted boldly and wiped my hand down. There was a loud slap as Edwards head turned in surprise. My hand was still held out, remnants of my recent assault in its shaky manor.

"Bella?" his voice was low in disbelief as he touched his cheek, trying not to believe what I had just done. "Bella—"

"I said STOP!" but this time I did not use my hand to hurt him, I used what he had done to me, what I had accidentally used on Alice in the woods.

I could feel a slight trickle swim down my arm, but his shoulders only hunched over slightly as he rubbed at his chest in slight surprise. Why wasn't he screaming? Why wasn't he crippling over in pain? Had I not used enough? I tried again, using all my might and concentration into hurting him, into making him suffer. Nothing.

Slowly, I backed away, shaking my head, in disgust. I felt disgusted with myself for actually sinking to the level of hurting someone else, disgust at Edward for not even feeling a thing.

"I-I" but I just shook my head, unable to complete the sentence of repentance. What happened to me? I was a monster, just like Edward thought.

"Wait don't go," His voice was weak as he crawled towards me like an animal. I bared my teeth in a snarl then quickly, before I could do anything else, I ran. It wasn't like last time; I knew where I was going. Home, back to my apartment. If there was one thing I learned from that exchange, was that I was stronger, stronger than Edward. He would leave, if he had a problem with me, then he could go. I wouldn't leave, I was stronger than him, I would be better. I would stay.

-

Frevel whined behind me as I ambled down the hall to our room after retrieving him from the dog-day-care. He licked at my hands that hung loosely at my sides, begging for them to become active and pet his silky coat.

_I can do this; I can stay_ I kept repeating to myself as if by saying it enough it would become solid and true.

The room was damp and dreary as ever, but it somehow seemed even more depressant with the shades drawn and it being a little past midnight, not to mention the current events. I mechanically walked over to the dog food to pour Frevel a cup, even though I'd have hoped he was already fed, being in a care center and all.

The chore didn't take long and once again, I found myself at a loss of things to do. I was only able to make it to the couch when a tiny knock sounded on the door as it creaked open, seeing as though it still had no handle or ways to keep it shut.

Little Alice stood at my door with her hand up thinking she would need to knock again. She smiled timidly with one hand holding the door frame to lean in to. I took a deep breath in through my nose, I could do this, and I would do this. It was Alice, just Alice.

"Hello," I tried for casual and only barely succeeding.

She grinned then turned around to wave someone over. "Hello," she greeted trying to be chipper whilst stepping aside to let Jasper in. "We just thought we'd pay you a visit." But her eyes said otherwise. There was a certain light in them as she danced around the room to find a seat on the couch next to me. Jasper moseyed in after her with his arms held behind his back and his eyes traveling around my poorly equipped room.

I eyed her skeptically "uh-huh, sure you did." It was peculiar, how easy it was to talk to her after the previous events. My eyes darted to Jasper and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, of course he most likely had a part in the tranquility. My hands were places lightly on my lap while my back leaned into the couch, watching and waiting patiently for her to continue.

The room was completely silent save the panting from Frevel and the small squeaking noises coming from Jasper who attempted to sit on my bed that held no mattress only springs. Alice began to chew on her lip and tap her fingers on her knee while Jasper whistled and repositioned himself on the squeaky bed. The wind began to pick up from outside and I could hear the opening and closing of a door from down the hallway. Jasper's whistling grew louder as Alice started chomping down on her teeth. "Alice just spit it out!" I shrieked unable to take anymore of the personal pet-peeves.

"Okay!" Alice cried a little surprised by my sudden outburst. The bed gave a loud squeak; I closed my eyes waiting for him to settle down. When I opened them, he was on the couch shoulder next to Alice. "Jasper and I have been thinking… because of… recent events, I have a feeling you won't be wanting to come live with us," she gave me a chance to violently shake my head, no. "Right, so… Bella-I-just-can't-let-you-live-_here_!" she sputtered out desperately looking around the room as if it were in the middle of a sewer.

My eyebrows knitted together as I waited for her to explain further. She reached back to grab Jaspers hand and at the same time snatched mine. "Soooo… we three are going to get an apartment together!!" she exclaimed while flinging all our hands into the air like we won the super bowl. Jasper smiled genuinely, though observed his hand that was held in the air questionably.

"I can't pay for that!" were the first thoughts that popped into my head.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" her short black hair shook, "when will you ever learn, I don't care!" she chimed happily seeming to notice my calmness for the situation and began skipping around my room for all my belongings.

"I never said yes," I spoke quietly.

"Oh but you will. Especially when you see this apartment! Who knew this town could even have such apartments!"

"Wait you've already picked out an apartment!" I shrieked incredulously.

"Oh come on Bella, we all know you hate shopping. I thought I'd give you a break and just pick one out real quick!" she beamed as she headed into the bathroom.

I turned my head to Jasper, "Wait we're leaving now?"

"Well, no. She still needs to contact the people trying to move out, but she's convinced that with a little extra persuading they'll be out in no time," he raised his fingers and rubbed them together to indicate money, my jaw dropped. "But she does have all the furniture picked out for when we do. I'm not sure why she's packing now though," he looked over at his wife bemused.

A minute later Alice immerged from the bathroom with a bag of all my things, "well," she said looking down at her watch while throwing the bag on my suitcase. "Ikea should be opening soon, by the time we're done there it will be late enough to call the people and move in!" she wiggled her body as she skipped over to me and grab my hands. "This is going to be so much fun!"

I lifted one side of my mouth as I was yanked off the couch, "Yeah."

**Review Please!**


	8. Working 'til Midnight

**Sorry it took forever to update! I'm at my last week of school and they're piling projects and reviews for our finals on us like crazy! Ah! So I've been trying to write at least a little everyday, of course it didn't help when my computer crashed and deleted half my chapter! Basically this week hasn't been going too well.**

**Anyways here it is! I'm still don't own Edward, or any of Mrs. Meyers characters.**

**Enjoy!**

**(BPOV)**  
There was a loud crashing noise off in the other room as I dropped my body onto the new sea blue couch. "Bella! Comeback here!" Alice shrieked as Jasper cursed a little too loudly.

"No!" I shouted back stubbornly, "I never thought a vampire could get tired! But once again, Alice, you have proven me wrong!" I said dramatically as I swung my legs off the couch to make my way through the packed apartment to wherever I was needed.

After the news that I was moving in with Alice and Jasper into the new apartment Alice demanded we go straight to Ikea, a god sent store, in _her _opinion. Once there, we spent a good four hours shopping; in the middle of our shopping Alice went to the side and called to see if the apartment was still available, even though she already knew the answer.

The owners seemed to be in a hurry to leave because they promised they'd be able to depart the minute we got there, which is exactly what happened. A quick tour of the place and they were out, cash in hand.

We'd been working non stop after that, it was midnight and we were beginning on Alice's and Jasper's room.

Although I was starting to feel wary of all the decorating, it did help keep my mind off things. Alice had pulled me off to the side once to ask how I was doing and what my views on the situation was, or translation, did I hate Edward? Hate was such a strong word. Dislike? It still felt too strong for Edward. I didn't know. It was hard to believe the other day happened, when I'd yelled at him it was like a hazy dream. But it was real, _it's real_, I kept telling myself.

Had I gotten my revenge? Was I that easy to tame? Did I need taming? Did I love Edward? Did I want him back? 'He left _for_ you', did he? Personally it made no sense for him to leave for me, although I couldn't lie, it felt better to at least have that option. But did he not want to spend eternity with me? I didn't get it. _Ask him_, a small voice rang in my ears but was quickly pushed aside. He probably hated me now anyways, and maybe that was better at least that would be an explanation?

There was another crash and a curse as I entered the mess of a room. There were paint buckets in every corner of the room with tarps spread out through the whole floor in a strange sea of waves from the many places I'd fallen as well as others. Alice was hanging upside down on a straight ladder, with a paint bucket in her hand as Jasper struggled to hold the ladder in place in the middle of the room, how they got there, I did not know.

"I leave for five minutes and you're already in havoc!" I screeched while hurrying over to their aid.

Jasper muttered low, "It was already a mess, anyway." My foot caught on one of the ripples in the tarp sending me flying into the ladder.

"Bella no!" but it was too late, my diamond hard body crashed into the ladder sending the paint bucket up in the air as Jasper was shot back and Alice crashed to the floor with the ladder. The yellow paint was everywhere as we lay still, too shocked for any of us to move or speak. I closed my eyes from mess, waiting for one of them to start yelling at my clumsiness.

Alice did the complete opposite; there was a short giggle, then another, and soon she was laughing hysterically. I let out weak smile as Jasper gave a short laugh. Alice's giggles grew into shrieks of laughter from under the ladder, causing me to laugh harder. Soon we were all cackling and rolling in the yellow paint that plagued the floor.

That was just one event of our apartment decorating.

-

Exactly a day and a half later and we were done, and I sure knew it when we were. "We're done!" Alice said from on top of the blue couch that I sprawled myself on. "We're done! We're done! We're done!" she squealed as Jasper chuckled and took her waist to swing her around.

"Yes," he confirmed while giving a short but passionate kiss, "we're done." I closed my eyes pretending to be 'resting'. I tried to think of something else—anything else—to distract me from what was right in front of me…true love. I could almost feel it crashing into my marble skin as it stabbed me like a knife.

I tried to think of our newly designed apartment. The living rooms theme was sea blue and a sandy tan. The kitchen was mostly white with a few pale colored tiles place at random. Alice and Jasper's room was a sea of pale colors. At first Alice wanted it to be a bright multicolored room, but Jasper, not wanting it to turn into a 70's theme compromised for pale multicolored. My room was only three colors, burgundy, light blue and a yellowish gold.

I was pretty happy with the new apartment, no leaks and one large window in the living room over viewing the forest green and cloudy skies.

It wasn't much longer when the couch was once again vibrating as Alice was up in my face shouting, "Come on Bella! Let's go out!!"

I grumbled and rolled over, "The only thing that I'm going out for is to feed!" She slapped by butt with a loud crack, "ow," I said dully, though it really didn't hurt at all, I _was _a vampire.

Alice huffed, "Fine we'll go "_feed_" but after that we're going out! Like out, out! Fun!" She was way too overly excited for someone who spent two days working on a dull apartment; I knew we couldn't get tired but… "I'll go find the keys!" she sang as she hopped off the couch and to the basket that held the keys.

-

"Alice, I thought the inside of your car was black…" I mused as I stepped into the yellow mobile device and squeezed my way to the back.

"It was, but I thought black was so depressing, so I made it pink! Changeable color seats duh!" she explained.

"Pink and yellow," I said under my breath. No matter how often I saw Alice, she always had new surprises up her sleeves.

The hunt went by quickly, too quickly. The familiar hair pressuring on my face and combing my hair back made me feel free, no annoying attachments or worries; no thinking, especially about unpleasant things—or people. We only went far enough into the forest for some small game, although on the way back I was able to catch a deer, letting Jasper and Alice get in front.

When the yellow of the car came into view from behind the trees I sped up. Alice was standing on the stairs with her back hunched and talking into her meSung secretively. When I came out of the clearing she looked quickly at me then shouted, "Sounds great ok bye!" and whipped the silver device away, stuffing it in her pocket. "Change of plans Bella, We're just going to go home and enjoy the apartment!"

I looked at her suspiciously but liking her sudden change in motives, said nothing.

-

Once again I let my body fall dumbly onto my _new_ favorite blue couch. I let my eyes close and my thought wander as Alice and Jasper did their own thing. Suddenly there was as series of car doors opening and shutting, but I didn't think much of it, seeing as we were in an apartment complex.

"Hello ditchers!" my eyes opened wide at the sound of Emmett's erupting voice walking down the hallway. I could hear the other vampires trailing behind them. Before they could take one step closer to the door I was out of my seat and aiming towards my room.

Alice yelled in a high pitch, "Bella!" as I felt two arms wrap around my waist and dragging me down. I grunted as we hit the floor and I struggled to pry the little leach off me.

"Rrr!" We began rolling on the floor each attempting to trump the other. My head rammed into the couch as I pushed harder sending Alice's back into the table.

Emmett's voice exploded from inside the room, "Woh! Let me in, on the fun!" I felt a hand grab my arm and lift me off of poor Alice as another hand grabbed for Alice's arm. We both kicked and punched fruitlessly as Emmett held us a few feet apart.

Alice let out a giggle from our situation as I huffed out a stubborn portion of air while crossing my arms. "Put them down," I heard Jasper, my new savior, call as he made his way over to the scene. Although his rescue didn't go according to plan; the hand left my arm and I was sent sprawling to the floor in a heap, of course Alice landed nicely.

"Wow it's gorgeous!" I heard Esme call from the other side of the room, completely unmoved by Alice's and my show.

Alice squealed and ran over to Esme, "I know right?!" I rolled my eyes which ended up landing on a porcelain looking hand that was outstretched towards me. My eyes ran up the smooth skin and to the tight chest then to the angelic face, Edward.

He held a crooked grin and an amused raised eyebrow. I watched him warily, how could he be so relaxed after what happened a few days ago…

My breath was caught in my throat, and I feared I may not have been able to take a proper breath again, not that it mattered much.

He looked cleaner, his hair was still messy, but he had new clothes on and light topaz eyes. But he still seemed so lifeless, sunken, damaged. I gave a weak smile and let my hand fall in his as I watched his smile grow and his eyes lighten up more and a flicker of life ignited in him.

I only caught the last bit of Alice's screaming "…TOUR! Come one!" Everyone began to follow a joyfully skipping Alice as Edward and I stood still, hands still locked unaware as we watched each other carefully, for some sign of emotion.

I chanced a quick glance in Alice's direction as she turned around at the exact moment and gave me a quick knowing wink. ?? I was too lost in my thoughts to even process what that sneaky wink meant.

I looked back at Edward a little confused, only then realizing our hands. Quickly, I dropped mine as I watched him struggled with words. Finally his beautiful voice broke out of his enticing lips, "can we talk?"

It took me a second to respond but finally I was able to get out in a whisper, "Edward I-I don't think that's a good idea," I looked down at the new carpet and studied its texture.

"Please Bella," he begged meeting my whisper. What did I do? What were my views on everything _now_? _Oh for goodness sakes make up your mind with you feelings!_ I screamed at myself, in my head of course.

Very slowly I nodded my head, up and then down. I could give this a shot. See what he had to say.

**What does he have to say? Review Please! :)**


	9. Stand in the Rain

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

_Previously: Edward wants to 'talk'_

**(BPOV)**

The rest of the tour migrated into Alice and Jasper's bedroom as Edward and I went into the kitchen on the other side of the living room. It wasn't so secret; then again maybe he didn't want us to be fully alone.

"Bella," he whispered from the middle of the kitchen looking down at me. We were so close. I took a tiny step back. "Why do you hate me?" he asked in a quiet whisper so only my ears would detect his words.

My voice was caught in my throat as he asked me the bland and biting words in his soft voice. Did he _really _wonder why I hated him? How could he not know? He pretended to love me. And then he left me, taking my best friends along with him. "I—" I didn't know what to say. "I don't hate—you know why," I whispered back, there was nothing interesting about the white floor, but I refused to meet his gaze.

His smooth fingers went under my chin, lightly pulling it up but as he did I moved my head to the side. "I don't understand," he said still in his soothing voice.

What was I to say to that? 'Because you left me'? But somehow those words just didn't give it the full emotion, the explanation, what it really meant. I opened my mouth, as if I were about to explain, about to explain to him what those 75 years without him did to me, while I thought he did not love me. "_I_ don't understand," I said back.

Finally I met his unreal eyes, their topaz beauty. His eyebrows furrowed. I expanded my meaning, "Explain to me why you left."

"For you—"

"—what do you mean 'for me'? I don't understand; did you not love me? Was I too human?" I asked. Finally we were having the conversation I had been waiting decades to have. Why did he leave me? He said that he didn't want me, but then my mind flickered back to the little emotion he let play on his face. Could it have been pain I saw?

"Yes and no to the last part." My lips parted in confusion. Was he saying that the 'no' was to the 'Was I too human'? Or was he saying that he still loved me, that he had always loved me. No, that couldn't be.A side of his lips twitched as he explained, "It wasn't that I didn't like the human part, I loved your human part. But you wanted to become a vampire, you wanted to give up you soul and I didn't want—"

"—so now I don't have a soul?" I countered. Finally I was breaking through the shell he kept around him. Finally he would have to explain. If he thought vampires didn't have souls that meant I didn't have a soul?

"Of course you do!" he rushed out putting his hands closer to mine, willing me into his arms.

I held my hand up, "But it took you 75 years to figure that out?" I averted my eyes from the silence as he tried to think of an explanation. He didn't want me to be a vampire because he was afraid I would loose my soul? This was typical of him. "Is that all?" I finally asked after the silence had spread out long enough.

"No," he whispered, "Bella I didn't want you to get hurt because of me—" He tried to continue, but again words built up in my throat and exploded out of me.

"Then you could have turned me into a vampire, that way we could've been together forever and I wouldn't have gotten hurt—" I cut myself off then. I had forgotten what he had said, _Bella, I don't want you to come with me._ Thinking of that night still caused me pain. I shuddered and felt like I had been stabbed. Edward didn't even seem to notice.

His posture became more rigid and I could tell he was fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, things weren't going his way, "But then you would be throwing everything away that was your human life!"

"For you!" I finally yelled, "And I was ok with that! If it meant I could exist with you forever and have you love me! I would have gladly 'given up my soul'!" I fought the sob that pressed at my throat. Why didn't he understand? How could he be so thick as to not see that all I ever cared about was to be with him? To love him and for him to love me?

Edwards face was torn as he fought with himself to touch me. He was back to a whisper, "Bella—"

"Just go," I whispered back turning my hunched back to him as I clutched the sides of my face. There was a soft brush on my back sending tingles in its path. "Please go, it's over," I begged in a whisper. I could still feel his breathing behind me as he hesitated. Beautiful Edward, there standing behind me, so close and yet too much in between us to get to each other.

And then he was gone.

Again, I felt like a mummy, lifeless. Walking back to the living room, I kept my eyes on the ground only looking up to see everyone getting shooed out, even Jasper, by Alice. There was a soft click as the door shut; I was alone.

Someone cleared their throat as I looked up startled, Alice. "Alice please I'm not in the—"

"—I've never been so disappointed in you," she said in a cold somber voice, it surprised me. I looked up to see her small frame, slowly ambling towards me with her hands on her hips. "You know," her eyes traveled to the ceiling, "I felt sorry for you. Poor Bella had to be all alone through all those years." Her eyes softened only a little as she shook her head, saddened. "And you know what I really don't understand? Is that Edward left you but he came back and he explained why he left! And it might not be the best reason but it made some sense! And it was a very selfless reason at that!

So how can you be so selfish Bella?! Can't you see he loves you?! And don't tell me no because I know you do! You're just too stubborn and scared to let him in!" her voice raised the loudest and sternest I'd ever heard her, "I've sat back for too long Bella, too long! I thought you'd have enough sense to realize that it's true why he left you! That he made the worst mistake of his life and learned from it, so that if he ever got the chance to do it over, he'd stay!" she stopped for only a little to let the full meaning of her words slice through my skin, one by one.

"And he's now gotten that chance to start over! He's gotten that chance, you've gotten that chance, but you're just throwing it away!" she threw her hands up in the air as I winced from the truth in her words. "If you truly loved him, if you EVER truly loved him, you'd be on your hands and knees thanking the heavens you've gotten a second chance! Edward sure has! He wants you back so much! Now be the Bella I know you are and throw away all those hatred emotions and get your MAN!" She finished breathing a little heavier than necessary, her small chest heaving as she was now only a foot away.

It took me a moment to react. She didn't understand how much he had hurt me, and I was sure that she never would. She was too busy defending her brother to notice the pain on _my _face when he looked at me. Then another part of me understood. Everything that she said was true. _All _of it. Selfish, was I being selfish? Then again selfish would be doing something you wanted, was this really what I wanted? To be alone?

She smirked slightly as I let my mouth twitch while I nodded my head. Somehow that was it. Those were the words I needed to hear. Somehow little Alice was able to fit all my emotions in just a five minute speech and release me from my binding chains. Could I just do that? After all that difficulty? After all the thinking and yelling and crying, have it all just go away with a few words? I gulped down, I could for him.

As fast as, if not faster, than lightening I was out the front door and flew down the hallway screaming, "EDWARD! EDWARD!" The Cullen cars were already gone but without a second thought I bounded towards their house using the forest.

I didn't care if the branches whipped at my clothing or my hair, all I wanted, I needed, was Edward. Would he welcome me back? I jumped over a bush and continued down the path to their house. It was getting closer to dark, and just because of my luck I felt a drop of rain hit my nose, then another, and then another until they were coming down in pellets. I persisted to sprint through the drenching rain letting it soak my unimportant clothing, my unimportant hair, as long as it didn't keep me away from the only thing important to me at that moment, Edward.

Why was there house so far? I dodged the trees easily from the many years of practice. The sun was fading quickly now as it fell from the sky.

Like a miracle the house finally came into view. I shouted his name again, "EDWARD!" My feet patted their way down the driveway as I raced up their porch and threw open the front door sending in a wave of water as I did.

Everyone, except Edward, was sitting in the living room as all heads thrashed toward mine. Before they could speak I called out, "Where is he?!"

Esme stood up soothingly and walked toward me with a distressing and confused face. "He left, honey, we don't know." My heart broke as I staggered forward. Too late? Was I too late?

I heard Alice scream off in the distance, "BELLA!" I turned around to find Alice sprinting for the house, her small body also drenched. It was turning into a storm. "Bella! He's in some meadow! I don't know where but it—" Before she could even finish her sentence I was out the house again and sprinting through the trees, knowing exactly where I was going.

The rain was hitting me like gun shots from the speed I traveled and their constant contact. I couldn't run fast enough, I needed him, I wanted him, and I loved Edward. I loved Edward! I'd never tell myself otherwise ever again! My sense of direction was only a little hazy as I continued through the forest.

"EDWARD!" I cried out when I could just barley make out the clearing of trees. My speed picked up. Finally I broke out from the trees and saw Edward standing in the middle of the meadow, looking towards the sky, his body soaked. "EDWARD!" I screamed again as he slowly turned around towards the sound of my voice. Our eyes met and at that exact moment I bound for him not caring about anything but him.

I couldn't go fast enough as my arms spread out and I jumped on him hooking my legs around his waist. His arms caught under me, holding me up as he staggered back. "Edward I love you!" I cried out taking his drenched slippery face, "I love you and I never want you to leave me again, don't you _ever_ leave me again, do you understand?!" I sobbed out, as if it would be my last chance to say those words, like if I waited a second more I wouldn't be able to.

His face was surprised as he studied me over; trying to convince himself I was real. So I decided I'd help. Quickly and swiftly I leaned down and let my lips fall, colliding with his smooth wet ones. It was a fierce kiss as he finally realized I was real and deepened it.

At that moment, I couldn't help but feel like I was in a fairytale—that I was finally going to have my happy ending. Because, at that moment everything was right. I had my family again, and my long lost lover who I could live with forever. Everything was perfect, and on top of it all, when I was kissing Edward I didn't even need to come up for air.

I let my hands slide through his hair combing it back while his traveled farther and farther down my body. His hands touched every inch of me, memorizing my body. I did the same to him, his body warm—though it was colder than snow. I closed my eyes, letting myself drift further and further into the dreamlike situation I was in as we soaked in the rain. His lips were beautiful as they moved in sync with mine. I could tell even when my eyes could only see darkness. He began to back up; I didn't know where we were going, only that it was we. I captured his bottom lip and pressed myself closer to his body. I didn't know how long we stood there, but it seemed like forever, for which I was perpetually grateful. Nothing in my whole entire life—existence—could ever compare to this kiss—this connection.

We broke apart, letting his lips escape to below my ear as he whispered "I love you and I'll never leave you, _ever_." And for the first time in the last days, I actually believed him. My Edward, my love, the essence of my existence was going to stay, _forever_. "I love you; this is the happiest day of my life."

I stared deep into his light topaz eyes, and then whispered back, "As we stand in the rain."

**I know, that last lines a little cheesy and awkward but I couldn't help it :) It's the title of the story and I had to put it in there  
**


	10. Epilogue

**I don't own Twilight**

**Last Chapter!! **

**Thanks for all the Review and support throughout this story, they've all been a tremendous help!**

**Enjoy**

**(BPOV)**

"No!" I let out a shriek of giggles as my feet flailed, kicking the covers off the bed. "Edward stop!" I laughed harder, unable to speak properly from the amount of laughter coming out through my lips.

I was being dug into the mattress by Edwards's hands that continued to amuse my body with their dancing fingers. I wasn't ticklish, just the thought of someone else's hands attacking my body was what got me.

We were in _our _room in the same apartment. He'd moved in just three days prior.

Edward's knees were positioned on either side, just below my hip to keep my legs in check as I wiggled my body.

Edward chuckled, his famous grin lighting up his entire face as strands of his untidy hair obstructed his view.

His grin turned wicked as he whispered, at least compared to my previous volume, "Say the magic words." His fingers traveled up my shirt as I wheezed louder, slightly shocked. He was acting like a five year old…and it was hilarious!

"Please!" I begged in between a cackling laugh, though those hands weren't totally unwelcome. His hands finally rested as they moved to the sides of me, keeping his body levitating above me.

His light topaz eyes fixed upon mine, both our silly grins not lessening in the slightest. I was so happy, happier than I had ever been. Not only did I have Edward back, but I had him back without him having to treat me as a porcelain doll, which he still sometimes did anyways.

It had been two weeks since our big reunion. Two wonderful weeks spent simply talking and cuddling. I remembered a certain conversation we'd had about a week ago.

"Edward?" I had mumbled into his firm chest has he'd stroked my hair, giving more tangles than there already were. We were cuddled on the couch in the living room of the apartment, no one else present.

"Yeah?" He'd murmured back, his chest rumbling from his deep voice.

There had been a moment's pause before I'd begun again, "W-what do you think we are?" Those words had puzzled him.

His stroking had stopped as my head lifted to gaze into his eyes. His eyebrow rose as he'd questioned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we both love each other and spend enough time with each other"—I actually couldn't remember a time we'd left each others sight since that one night—"so what are we?"

Realization had shown through his eyes as his grin grew, seeming pleased with the awkward—for me—conversation. "Well if you want," he'd begun as he took my hands and placed them in the middle between us, our knees slanting towards each other like in the cheesy movies. He'd looked deeper into my eyes, playing around with my fingers as he'd prepared his, whatever he was doing. "Bella, would you be my girlfriend?"

My lips had curled slightly at the word. The thought behind it was nice, but the word, the word just didn't fit our relationship. Ours was something more, something stronger, something much stronger.

His eyes had caught the slight grimace as he quickly rushed into frenzy, "We don't have to, and I completely understand if that's taking it too quickly—"

"—Edward," I'd cut him off before his imagination could get any worse. "It's not that, that would definitely not be taking it too fast," I'd said scooting myself closer so that one of my legs rested on his knee too prove my point. "It's just _girlfriend_, feels so kindergarten. I like the idea of being your girlfriend, but let's not call it that. Something bigger, special."

He'd grinned, relaxing his shoulders as he'd leaned forward for a tiny peck. But as his lips had closed in on mine, my hands flew to behind his neck to grasp his hair and pull him closer. He responded by meandering his arms around my waist and pulling me up onto his lap.

My lips had only parted slightly allowing him better play. I could feel his fingers lifting up the cloth on my back, enough for his fingers to caress only skin. One of my hands had released their hold on his hair as it slid down to his shoulder then ran like rain down his chest, clutching his shirt at the end of its decent.

I was in the middle of adjusting my hips on his stiff lap when the sound of the lock playing in the slot had clicked. Like a hot potato I had flown off his lap in shock and landed on the floor, in a useless pant.

"Woh," Alice had laughed as the door flew open. "What happened here?" she'd caught my eye and winked as I'd grumbled at her for her timing.

I was snapped out of my memory as Edwards sweet breath blew into my face. Remembering where I was, I looked up into his striking eyes.

Our relationship was starting to go to the next levels, blooming like a flower, as my heart began to trust him more.

Instinctively, I lifted my hand to wipe the left over hair from his eyes. He chuckled then lowered his body so that it only lightly rested on mine. He began brush my nose with his own, lightly playing back and forth like a feather.

I got impatient and arched my neck to peck his lips lightly. We grinned as I did it again, leaving them there for longer, smiling into his. This time when I lowered them he followed. He pushed his lips further into mine, more demanding. My mouth opened allowing access as his tongue slid through at the ready.

His body relaxed, pushing into my every curve and swell. His lips left mine lonely as he began to entertain other parts. He kisses led to my jaw then down to my neck, concentrating on some areas more than others. I was in pure bliss, not knowing what else to do than just lay there as he preformed his magic.

Not long after he grabbed my waist and flung me around so that he was on his back and I on his chest. I laughed loudly enjoying the swooping feeling in his strong capable arms. My hair covered our faces in a curtain as I grinned and lowered my lips once again for a kiss.

-

"See you guys at school!" I yelled to Alice and Jasper as I closed the apartment door behind Edward and me. When I turned around Edward was standing there watching me with a small smile. I laughed, "What?"

He shook his head simply, "Nothing," he grinned as he wrapped his arm around my waist to lead me down the hall to the car. He bent his head down to whisper in my ear, "you're just so beautiful."

I leaned my head on his shoulder in contentment. Being with Edward was the easiest thing alive. Even after everything we'd only had one tension moment and that was with the whole family when I was asked how I was changed.

It was after a family game night, we all sat around the couches, enjoying our family time talking about anything and everything.

"Bella?" Alice had asked boldly, with only a hint of caution mixed in with her voice. I looked up and smiled at her, letting her continue, "How were you changed into a vampire?" I'd felt Edward's body tense from my position leaning on him. Every eye in the room had been fixed on me.

My jaw had hung open a little father than normal as I'd thought of what to say. It wasn't something I enjoyed talking about; it wasn't something I ever talked about. But I figured I owed them that much. "I-I really don't know…" I'd answered truthfully. The room had become exceptionally quiet. No one fake breathing, no movement, not even blinking.

Carlisle had leaned forward, "Do you know how it happened? Where you were? Why they stopped?" Edward tightened his arms around me and I could tell he had been looking sternly at Carlisle for his mind boggling questions.

I answered slowly, "I'm not completely sure; I remember I was at the beach with…" I couldn't remember, only a hazy picture of a tall dark skinned man, "someone…" I had shaken my head trying to remember. "I was attacked by… a vampire—but they weren't there long because something else attacked them, something big and hairy, like, like a dog, but bigger, much bigger. Then there was fire, I had been bitten…" I had trailed off, looking at everyone's grave expressions. I'd lifted my shoulders slightly. "I woke up deep in the forest, most likely three days later, and that was it."

"Oh, Bella," the words of sympathy came from Alice as everyone joined in with nods of the head and some hugs.

After that we'd somehow gotten the family back to normal before we left for some alone time. Edward had only tried to bring it up once after. I hadn't been completely against it, but the conversation hadn't lasted long, considering my lack of detail.

…

The drive to school took little time. I kept my left hand in Edward's right as my thumb stroked at his smooth skin. One thing Edward and I had enjoyed talking about the most was our future.

It was decided that after we finished this year up we would go out and find some remote place where it could be just the two of us. Then when the Cullen's decided to leave Forks, we would come back to join them.

We made our way into the school parking lot, easily finding a spot since we were pretty early. Before I opened the door Edward tugged on my hand towards him. I turned and smiled as his head leaned down towards mine.

It was a soft kiss that I lightly pressed myself into, taking in his scent and soft touch. One of his hands came up to lightly caress the side of my face. Just as we pulled away my meSung rang. (Alice had sat both Edward and I down to teach us the works of the meSung. I was proud to say that I was beginning to understand everything, well most everything.)

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella!" Alice said excited about something. "Glad I caught you before you stepped out of the car! Looks like the clouds are going to disappear here soon so I wouldn't even bother getting out!" she squealed and I couldn't help but smile at the news, which in fact was very good. School was overrated.

We said our good byes as I stuffed the everything-device into my pocket. Edward grinned back at me, overhearing the conversation.

He took my hand and kissed it, "Where shall we go my lady?" he questioned as I raised my eyebrows suggestively. As if he read my mind he turned back to the car, turned it on and sped out of the parking lot and to our meadow.

-

I dug my toes into the individual blades of grass as I watched Edward lay with his shirt open sending beautiful rainbows in every direction. His eyes were closed in a peaceful trance, his mind off somewhere else. I smiled at the sight of him, not wanting to move in case I bothered him.

One of his eyes slit open as he raised an eyebrow at me then mumbled, "You just gonna stand there all day?" then he closed his eyes again and patted the ground next to him. I shook my head, but still didn't move.

Edward grumbled from deep in his chest then out of no where, sprang forward, catching my hips and bringing me down.

"Edward!" I screamed in protest as he laughed loudly while positioning himself over me in a lion's stance. My eyes were bulged as I stared at the strange and beautiful man on top of me. I rolled my eyes and lamely pushed on his chest, he didn't budge. There was an annoyingly smug smirk on his lips.

Since I couldn't push him and couldn't bare his smugness, _I_ turned myself around so that I was on my stomach, resting my chin on my hand. Edward chuckled as I felt him roll off me.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, what am I going to do with you?" he teased as he persuaded my body to roll back onto my back. I felt like a Raggedy Ann doll, the way I was moving. Edward propped his head up with his hand, laying on his side and looked down on me.

It took me awhile to respond to his question, which wasn't really supposed to be answered anyways. "Love me," I replied casually, a grin forming on both of our faces.

"I already do," he spoke soft as his head swooped down to capture my lips for only one of the many times.

**The Beginning**


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